Hey all! This is the essay kind of thing (which will mostly be me rambling but hey, who cares), so if reading that kind of stuff is not your schtick, I'll save you the time.
As it may be someone's first time hearing about aromanticism and asexuality, lemme give a quick explanation.
- People on the aromantic spectrum (commonly abbreviated as aros [pronounced "arrows"]) don't feel some degree of romantic attraction towards others. For me? I'm completely aromantic, so I just don't romance. I've never had a crush, questioned why kissing was practical (as you can spread quite the number of diseases by putting one mouth on another mouth), always made jokes about how lead characters falling for each other happens everywhere in movies (usually chanting KISS KISS KISS when their faces are close to each other, and then after seeing them kiss, looking away like eeewwwwww wait i didn't mean actually kiss), and have asked my parents numerous times why
- People on the asexual spectrum (commonly abbreviated as aces) don't feel some degree of sexual attraction towards others. For me, this means I have 0 concept of the term "lust." It just never made sense to me. I've known it was one of the "seven deadly sins," but I've always looked at supposedly hot people like "bruh they're just wearing too much makeup" or "that photoshop is off with proportions here, here, and here." I just view all people as people.
Firstly, I'd like to just say that being aromantic has affected me FAR MORE than being asexual. Here's a little social experiment for you so you can see how.
- Hit shuffle on all of your Spotify liked songs. Within the first 3 songs, there will probably be someone singing about a loved one, how pretty they are, how good they are at doing the birdsbeesthing, or being salty about an ex.
- Open a new tab, and go to a site with a crap ton of ads (such as Bulbapedia). Look at said ads, and wait 30 seconds. How many of them have something like "hot celebrity divorces" or "find cute chicks near you" or "this dating sim is very very cool"?
- Look at the games you have in your STEAM library. How many of them have romance options?
- Open up Netflix/Hulu/whatever you watch TV on nowadays. Check your top 5 most recent shows. How many have some form of romance between 2+ characters?
- Think back to your school days. When (the dreaded) February 14th rolled around, were you encouraged/forced to write Valentine's Day cards to the classmates you liked?
- Have you ever been asked if you liked someone? Like, like liked someone?
Yeah, romance is pretty much ingrained in society. And it makes sense, since, well, none of us would be here if mommy and daddy didn't do the spicy dance together. But yes, aromantics do exist, and this automatic assumption that everyone falls in love is called
amatonormativity. It can be quite toxic to the aromantic community, because lmao not all of us fall in love in the first place
Some aros don't mind it, some do, some are like me and only mind when it gets shoved in my face, others don't give a darn. We're all people, bro. If you're worried about making someone uncomfy, just talk to them and ask for their boundaries.
I can't tell you how many times I've gotten the "lmao you're not old enough yet" or "you COULDN'T have never have had a crush. EVERYONE has crushes" or "love is the human emotion, if you can't love you're a robot and you're not a robot haha" kind of jokes. Respectfully, just don't. Thanks. Aros are already erased enough, even by LGBTQ+ communities. Because haha,
you don't have to be asexual to be aromantic - think of this as viewing everyone as one-night-stands.
Oh, also, the word "aromantic" (as of this post) is STILL not recognized by most online sources (mmm i hate that dotted red line telling me i meant aromatic. i may smell nice but wrong word, autocorrect! also, i am definitely NOT "a romantic"). If you don't believe me, go to Insta, type out #lgbt, #lgbtq, #asexual, #trans, #gay, #lesbian, #pride and look at those beautiful custom rainbows over the letters. Oh, and then type out #aromantic and stare at nothing.
Regarding being ace, thanks to the work of a lot of people in the LGBTQ+ community, I've been fortunate enough to not have been put in a position where I've been expected to have sex, mostly because I've only really "dated" twice. One was in 3rd grade (lmao), and one who I truly regret having to come out as aro to, who never asked for it.
Otherwise, this post has already gotten long enough. I hope you enjoyed my sonnet (i thought it would be comedy gold to use a format meant for love as a way to say lmao imagine falling in love) and I hope you learned something new/had a good review in reading this ramble session.
Happy Pride, and I hope you have a great rest of your day!