Social LGBTQIA+

[dot Comfey]

hello this is the first post of my account since its "official" revival, so yeah time to introduce myself

hi I'm dot Comfey and I'm a trans girl. I have been identifying this way for three months now.
to me I felt unlucky being born as a dude, and the thought of being a girl is really great. my parents are supportive of my decision.
big thanks to berryalcremie for being a great friend who helped me figure myself out! and thanks to everyone else who has accepted my identity.

 

[Chadlad50]

I've figured out that I've probably got OCD and that's why sexuality is so confusing, and why all of the questioning has gotten me nowhere

I'll probably need therapy if I want to make it better, so that's fun

I've atleast come to the conclusion it's likely I'm Bi with sexual orientation OCD, not straight with HOCD. Doesn't mean I'll label myself anything or feel confident in it, but hey, it's something

 

[antemortem]

omg, thank you so much, you did not have to write something that long for me qwq
how do i phrase it, though? like, what do i say to them that wont sound dumb other than "hi mommy and daddy (yes i call them that lol) im trans"

it sounds like you're all a tight knit bunch, which is lovely

how you bring it up is up to you! you could sit them down and take it seriously, you could mention it in passing like "did you know you have a daughter?" and they'll be like "wtf?" and you can be like "yeah... i discovered her [some time] ago. it's me!" and go from there.

honestly i think stuff like this is best to toss out in the open and face it head on (IF you feel safe doing so), like dumping a load of dirty laundry in the living room. it doesn't hurt anyone, it's sort of silly, and you've framed the "problem" in such a way that you have to handle it now. cuz, it would be ridiculous to leave dirty laundry in the living room, further ridiculous to take the pile BACK to your room vs just taking care of it then and there!

you got this!!!

Just wanted to add I agree facing it head-on, especially if you think you’ll be supported outright, is better, because then it can be an ongoing process and while you continue to learn and unlearn things about yourself, you’ll have your fam in your corner the whole time. Whether you want to dramatize the moment, or just be forthright at the dinner table one night, just don’t put too much pressure on yourself to “do it right.”

Coming out is not the most important, impressive, or difficult thing you’ll ever do; living fully as yourself is.

View attachment 415326
almost a year of being nb and its probably one of the very few decisions in my life I don't regret

Here’s to a hell of a year! If you‘re comfortable sharing, how have you felt more empowered by your identity in the last year?

hello this is the first post of my account since its "official" revival, so yeah time to introduce myself

hi I'm dot Comfey and I'm a trans girl. I have been identifying this way for three months now.
to me I felt unlucky being born as a dude, and the thought of being a girl is really great. my parents are supportive of my decision.
big thanks to berryalcremie for being a great friend who helped me figure myself out! and thanks to everyone else who has accepted my identity.

I've figured out that I've probably got OCD and that's why sexuality is so confusing, and why all of the questioning has gotten me nowhere

I'll probably need therapy if I want to make it better, so that's fun

I've atleast come to the conclusion it's likely I'm Bi with sexual orientation OCD, not straight with HOCD. Doesn't mean I'll label myself anything or feel confident in it, but hey, it's something

Whatever these new realizations mean for y’all, proud of you for getting there!

It can be really difficult trying to function in a white cisgender heteronormative world with ill-defined labels, categories, and stratifications, especially since the term “transgender” wasn’t even apart of popular lexicon longer than 27 years ago. Bisexuality, too, has only recently stopped being such the butt of every punchline that people are taking it seriously enough to let people explore it as a valid sexual identity. Patience and grace are the key here.

 

[Happygate]

Hi. First post here, but Happy trans day of visibility to everyone here today <3 <3. Love ya guys and stay safe <3

 

[Catalisador]

ok, ok! so... i'm confused.
i think i'm non binary. idk, i just feel like... sometimes i feel more ?feminine? if that makes sense? idk, i just don't feel too comfortable yet to explain it and also idk how to explain it yet? lol
now, the thing i'm really confused about is... am i bissexual? if so, can i be demissexual too? and if so, can i be demissexual only when it comes to girls?LOL
idk how to explain, I just feel physically attracted to men most of the time but sometimes (shiny pokémon odds) i'll be attracted to a girl, but that mostly doesn't happen because of their physical attributes like it usually happens when i like a guy, i just feel attracted to their personality and things i have in common with them and... idk, it just makes them feel... special? and i'll start actually feeling real attraction afterwards? idk
can someone pls explain this to me LOL i'm rly confused i'm almost opening a "what's my sexuality" poll-----

 

[Bella]

ok, ok! so... i'm confused.
i think i'm non binary. idk, i just feel like... sometimes i feel more ?feminine? if that makes sense? idk, i just don't feel too comfortable yet to explain it and also idk how to explain it yet? lol
now, the thing i'm really confused about is... am i bissexual? if so, can i be demissexual too? and if so, can i be demissexual only when it comes to girls?LOL
idk how to explain, I just feel physically attracted to men most of the time but sometimes (shiny pokémon odds) i'll be attracted to a girl, but that mostly doesn't happen because of their physical attributes like it usually happens when i like a guy, i just feel attracted to their personality and things i have in common with them and... idk, it just makes them feel... special? and i'll start actually feeling real attraction afterwards? idk
can someone pls explain this to me LOL i'm rly confused i'm almost opening a "what's my sexuality" poll-----

from the looks of this you might find the label demigirl to fit you which is basically having feminine traits somethings but other times feeling like having no defined gender.
and on the sexuality thing... yeah i have no clue

 

[Myzozoa]

adapted from some poetry i heard recently, probably garbage but posting anyway may be slightly... dark lol:


It takes hard work to shine.

This world is a dark place, I know you all know how dark it can be. When you see someone shining all the time, understand that it's really hard to shine all the time...

You can't stay in the world's darkness, the darkness will always try to steal your light. Sometime you must find a way to come back to light.

If immaterial light were weak in its essence, then its need would not be for a dark dead substance. How could the insufficient darkness benefit the complete light?

If a light is needy or weak in its occurrence, then there must be for it a supporting light. And an ordering of supporting lights will not go on and on, there must be an end to the supporting lights. Their accidents are directed towards a light beyond which is no further light.

Can you touch the light inside you?

No one reaches a dream alone. To reach for a dream, to even have a dream, is a gift to bring light to this dark world. Those dreamers are a gift, dreaming their selves into the world that would extinguish them.

 

[Fishy]

ok, ok! so... i'm confused.
i think i'm non binary. idk, i just feel like... sometimes i feel more ?feminine? if that makes sense? idk, i just don't feel too comfortable yet to explain it and also idk how to explain it yet? lol
now, the thing i'm really confused about is... am i bissexual? if so, can i be demissexual too? and if so, can i be demissexual only when it comes to girls?LOL
idk how to explain, I just feel physically attracted to men most of the time but sometimes (shiny pokémon odds) i'll be attracted to a girl, but that mostly doesn't happen because of their physical attributes like it usually happens when i like a guy, i just feel attracted to their personality and things i have in common with them and... idk, it just makes them feel... special? and i'll start actually feeling real attraction afterwards? idk
can someone pls explain this to me LOL i'm rly confused i'm almost opening a "what's my sexuality" poll-----

my bisexuality made a lot more sense when i realized that my brain feels different when i am considering my attraction to men vs my attraction to women. the EASIEST way i can describe it is that i love men making me feel like a princess but then that's exactly how i want to make women feel if i'm attracted to them. even simpler, in my mind, i like pursuing women as if i am playing a man's role but otherwise i like being the woman pursued by a man.

i consider myself gender fluid in this sense since i "feel like a man" in my type of attraction to women, but ultimately i'm a lady who loves men & women BUT who also is convinced she trades brains with a man when she sees a hot lady.

 

[fx]

idk how to explain, I just feel physically attracted to men most of the time but sometimes (shiny pokémon odds) i'll be attracted to a girl, but that mostly doesn't happen because of their physical attributes like it usually happens when i like a guy, i just feel attracted to their personality and things i have in common with them and... idk, it just makes them feel... special? and i'll start actually feeling real attraction afterwards? idk
can someone pls explain this to me LOL i'm rly confused i'm almost opening a "what's my sexuality" poll-----

I think you should ask yourself this: are you attracted to these particular women or do you find them attractive? Because you do not have to identify a certain way if it's the latter. However, if the former applies to you, then perhaps you are bisexual with a preference for men. I'm not sure what you mean by "i'll be attracted to a girl, but that mostly doesn't happen because of their physical attributes," but I will assume you mean you are not really sexually attracted to women, and rather have the capacity only for a romantic attraction to them. I would honestly stay away from using the SAM (split-attraction model, which is the separation of romantic and sexual attraction when considering overall attraction) to help you figure out your identity regardless as its roots lie in homophobia and in most cases people who fall into the SAM trap do so instead of unpacking their potential internalized homophobia.

Further, let's say you figured out you're bisexual and met a girl who you then later ended up dating; could you see yourself being fully immersed in that relationship? Would you be able to fall in love with one, and perhaps even cohabitate together in the distant future? Would you be able to unpack the physical repulsion to women and internalized homophobia to achieve that? If you don't think so, that's totally fine! But knowing that, you may not be bisexual.

I'm a lesbian and damn proud of it, but my ability to feel sure and proud of my identity hasn't always been clear. The nature of compulsory heterosexuality instills the thought that it's wrong to feel attraction to the same gender, and sometimes even makes us repulsed by the thought. Indeed, I was in the same boat. I knew I was never straight, but I thought I had the capacity for attraction to men, and for the longest time identified as bisexual because of that. It wasn't until two years ago that I finally cemented my identity as a lesbian, and let me tell you: it took a long time to figure that out and of course included countless life experiences that slowly unpacked my aversion to women and de-centering of men from my sexuality.

Of course, you don't need to have it figured out right now, so don't feel in such a rush to adhere to a label. It takes lived experiences to figuring yourself out, so give yourself the opportunity to do that as opposed to forcing yourself to get it right. Though it doesn't sound like you are a lesbian, I would look into reading the"Am I a Lesbian" master doc, particularly the section regarding compulsory heteronormativity. The questions regard attraction to men, but I would ask yourself the same questions in the context of your potential attraction to women. Use your answers to those interrogatories to investigate your sexuality accordingly. It may be clear afterward, or ultimately it may not be, but go into it knowing it will be an ongoing battle. I wish you the best of luck in figuring yourself out and if you have any questions, feel free to reach out. Not to brag, but I'm bit of a lady extraordinaire myself.

 

[NaboGaming]

I came out.

a while ago i made a post asking about how to drop the truth bomb, and it's done. a sincere thank you to Fishy, and everyone else. i am still nervous about weather they will accept me or not.

 

[Bella]

idk if i ever have talked about it here before, but yeah im bisexual. Its been a hard time to come to terms of it but i feel like this is the time to really come out publicly with it. Cannot believe i have the confidence to say this.

 

[boo836]

reading these coming out posts like

really proud of all of you, every time I feel depressed I just go to this thread for stories of people showing their courage in being honest with themselves

 

[Fishy]

reading these coming out posts like

really proud of all of you, every time I feel depressed I just go to this thread for stories of people showing their courage in being honest with themselves

ugh such a good b99 scene!!!!!!!!!! captain holt is my favorite EVER

 

[Scorcha9]

Just found out about this thread, so proud of everyone who posted for coming out <3

Also happy late Transgender Day of Visibility!!

 

[Plague von Karma]

Uh huh, nice one Twitter.

So for those unaware, while a massive protest for trans rights was going on, JK Rowling was apparently having dinner with people from the "Respect my Sex" campaign. Initially, this looks neat, but here's the catch.

The people she was having dinner with are from "Get the L Out", a lesbian seperatist group known for being part of the "gender critical" movement permeating the UK. They are grossly transphobic and actively campaign for the removal of rights for trans people. As the page will display for you, they are completely insane. Utter nutjobs. They hijacked the London Pride event last year(?) to give out "trans women are rapists" leaflets under police protection as a counter-protest. Oh, and the "Respect my Sex" people launched on a transphobic platform...while also having an article released on April Fools day of all days. Self-own!

Not exactly the best optics on the day of the protest, JK...not that she really has any reputation left after her recent bouts of insanity.

Oh, and the LGB Alliance is yet another transphobic hate group in the UK, which is being funded to make a film that will very likely also be peddling deadly rhetoric. Some sources on their extensive backlog of transphobia...
https://iwgb.org.uk/post/charity-workers-condemn-lgb-alliance
https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/matt-lucas-lgb-alliance-trans-b1929993.html
https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/whats-on/man-evicted-manchester-pride-protest-21438362
https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2021/10/14/russell-t-davies-lgb-alliance-attitude-awards/

Not a good day for trans people.

At least this happened!

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1513310176941678602

 

[antemortem]

The people she was having dinner with are from "Get the L Out", a lesbian seperatist group known for being part of the "gender critical" movement permeating the UK. They are grossly transphobic and actively campaign for the removal of rights for trans people. As the page will display for you, they are completely insane. Utter nutjobs. They hijacked the London Pride event last year(?) to give out "trans women are rapists" leaflets under police protection as a counter-protest. Oh, and the "Respect my Sex" people launched on a transphobic platform...while also having an article released on April Fools day of all days. Self-own!

I have to say... it’s marvelous how a group of people so passionately emboldened can pedal such a waste of time and effort. “We are witnessing how transactivism demonizes lesbians who are speak out?” Nobody is oppressing women who have sex with women. “We stand against misogynistic politics that prioritize men’s interests: transgenderism?” That’s how I immediately know that they are actively anti-trans, NOT pro-lesbian.

There’s a difference, and those that blindly support causes like this do active, irreversible harm to pro-trans movements.

If that’s difficult to understand, take for example the difference between being a white supremacist and being anti-Black. A white supremacist may believe in the primacy and privileges of white people explicitly; anti-Blackness is actionable and involves a deep-seated desire to oppress Blackness/Black people through any means necessary, whether it be structurally or socially.

So to be pro-lesbian wouldn’t entail bringing anti-trans politic into the game. If you are pro-trans, you know and agree that transgender women are not men in the first place, therefore pro-trans politic should have nothing to do with “anti-women-anything.”

Literally so fucking ill by this, people will do anything to shroud their inflammatory bullshit in digestive, manipulative programming.

 

[Theia]

A while back (more than a year ago at this point!), I posted in this thread about being aromantic/bisexual. Lately, I'm not so sure anymore.

The whole concept of being intimate with other people is nothing new to me, and I've been in a couple of FWB relationships not at all focused on any sort of romantic aspects with both male and female partners. But the more I look at them and myself, the more I realize how detached from those aspects of the relationship I've felt. At first I just kind of handwaved it away as my depression making me uninterested in the physical parts of the relationship, but it's become a pattern over a couple of years now. Physically, everything is normal, but mentally, I feel nothing at all. It's weird and very confusing.

I'm not sure where these leaves me as far as my identity. I've been using the asexual label for a bit, but I'm not really sure if that's where I fit? Not sure what I want from this post other than to get these feelings out in the open, sorry.

 

[fx]

I have to say... it’s marvelous how a group of people so passionately emboldened can pedal such a waste of time and effort. “We are witnessing how transactivism demonizes lesbians who are speak out?” Nobody is oppressing women who have sex with women. “We stand against misogynistic politics that prioritize men’s interests: transgenderism?” That’s how I immediately know that they are actively anti-trans, NOT pro-lesbian.

There’s a difference, and those that blindly support causes like this do active, irreversible harm to pro-trans movements.

If that’s difficult to understand, take for example the difference between being a white supremacist and being anti-Black. A white supremacist may believe in the primacy and privileges of white people explicitly; anti-Blackness is actionable and involves a deep-seated desire to oppress Blackness/Black people through any means necessary, whether it be structurally or socially.

So to be pro-lesbian wouldn’t entail bringing anti-trans politic into the game. If you are pro-trans, you know and agree that transgender women are not men in the first place, therefore pro-trans politic should have nothing to do with “anti-women-anything.”

Literally so fucking ill by this, people will do anything to shroud their inflammatory bullshit in digestive, manipulative programming.

Don't worry, Dave. We don't claim these "lesbians."

Lesbianism isn't just about WLW relationships. There's a history there, after all-- one which over time has developed the intersectionality of both trans women and lesbianism. Lesbian identities, at their core, are subversive of traditional gender identities. Femmes embrace their femininity, that which rejects the male gaze, while butches embrace their masculinity and break it from the association of men. Lesbians have been and are persecuted for this subversion, but it was the unrelenting struggle of lesbians in history (among others in the community of course) that has brought the LGBTQ+ community where it is now. Part of that historical lesbian struggle INCLUDED trans women because they understand more than anything the perils of subversion. To reject trans women from our identity is gross and blatantly anti-lesbian.

 

[Chadlad50]

why is it so hard to pinpoint my attractions, specifically towards men?

I mean it might be because I have OCD, which is a major issue. It's just so hard knowing for certain what's real and what's fake. I'm relatively certain I get genuine attractions to men, but there's still that lingering doubt and uncertainty, and it's hard to tell.

Any advice? And don't say "you don't need to put a label on it." That's not the issue, I don't care about labels, I just need to figure out what I'm actually attracted to

 

[Fishy]

why is it so hard to pinpoint my attractions, specifically towards men?

I mean it might be because I have OCD, which is a major issue. It's just so hard knowing for certain what's real and what's fake. I'm relatively certain I get genuine attractions to men, but there's still that lingering doubt and uncertainty, and it's hard to tell.

Any advice? And don't say "you don't need to put a label on it." That's not the issue, I don't care about labels, I just need to figure out what I'm actually attracted to

well, which thought comes first, the attraction or the doubt?

why do you think you're attracted to men? what do you like about them? maybe if you consider the reasons that fulfill your "relative certainty" of your attraction to men, you'll realize that your doubt isn't about whether or not you're attracted to men, but perhaps whether your reasons are "good enough" or "logical enough" to substantiate your attraction to men, based on some arbitrary set of standards that either exists in reality, or exists in your mind.

emotions/attraction aren't supposed to be logical obviously, natural maybe, but it's supposed to be a good idea to find partners that you're both attracted to AND whom you find you like after active conversations/interactions with them over time!! and attraction is the harder of the two usually, because us smart humans with our big smart brains tend to convolute the process if only we had a mating dance, perhaps a song...

the reasons you like men probably don't precisely match the reasons why i like them, but there is no rule book to follow either way!

 

[KM]

why is it so hard to pinpoint my attractions, specifically towards men?

I mean it might be because I have OCD, which is a major issue. It's just so hard knowing for certain what's real and what's fake. I'm relatively certain I get genuine attractions to men, but there's still that lingering doubt and uncertainty, and it's hard to tell.

Any advice? And don't say "you don't need to put a label on it." That's not the issue, I don't care about labels, I just need to figure out what I'm actually attracted to

i'm going to be a little blunt with this response, but understand that i have the utmost compassion for what you're going through.

ocd's most potent trick is convincing you that you NEED to figure out things. that you need to know things without a shadow of a doubt, that uncertainty is unacceptable, and that there IS some firm answer out there that will resolve the obsession.

i understand how tricky it can be to distinguish between your "real" sexuality and a potential OCD theme, but I promise that the most important thing you can do is learn to live with that uncertainty and not spend hours ruminating over whether an event or an interaction was "real" or "genuine" or "proof" etc etc. if you decide to ID as gay and then later on down the road realize it doesn't align with you, ok! if you remain unlabeled and something solidifies later on, great! but in the meantime, try and accept the uncertainty and avoid rumination, as hard as it may be.

if you have access to a therapist specializing in OCD (especially one qualified to deal with LGBTQ issues), i highly recommend asking them for help on this. all of this is so much easier said than done, and having someone in your corner who has experience with guiding people through this is super helpful.

 

[boo836]

why is it so hard to pinpoint my attractions, specifically towards men?

I mean it might be because I have OCD, which is a major issue. It's just so hard knowing for certain what's real and what's fake. I'm relatively certain I get genuine attractions to men, but there's still that lingering doubt and uncertainty, and it's hard to tell.

Any advice? And don't say "you don't need to put a label on it." That's not the issue, I don't care about labels, I just need to figure out what I'm actually attracted to

What's potentially fake about your attraction to men? I don't know a whole lot about OCD (and less so of its interactions with human sexuality) but glancing at a bit of literature on the matter, I think the differences seem to lie in an underlying sense of shame and anxiety over an attraction to men or being perceived as attracted to men, as well as a disconnect between your sexuality and the obsessive thoughts. One of the characteristics was that simply the potential for being perceived as gay is seriously disruptive in social settings. Like running away from dudes for mentioning your jaw. Considering you have "relative certainty" that you're attracted to men, it sounds to me like this isn't really the OCD. Can't imagine it would hurt to contact an OCD therapist though.

 

[LillianLoop]

Hi friends, it is late in the week now, but happy Lesbian visibility week!!

I don't really have an interesting coming out story, and I've only recently joined Smogon community, but seeing how LGBTQ+ friendly you guys are, it makes my heart flutter and very happy. :D

Thank you all for being compassionate, hope your week is going well!

 

[fx]

in honor of lesbian visibility week, here’s a picture of me and my lovely girlfriend for everyone’s viewing !

gay

to all my sapphics out there: i understand it may seem intimidating to find a relationship with another woman. but TRUST ME when i say that we are all people at the end of the day, so please don’t let yourself feel nervous talking to girls and risk not making a connection there. get out there and GET THAT GAME

 

[Oglemi]

FRIENDS, this is an absolute must-watch. It's so wholesome, subverts a ton of cliches, and is just in general very well made and thoughtful. I can't stop thinking about it and it makes my heart so happy, i need more seasons so I am pleading and begging everyone to at least give it a peek.

There's also positive trans and lesbian representation and storylines (I believe all played by actual gay, bi, trans and lesbian actors), it's just so good

Happy lesbian visibility week!