Warstory: You Won't Believe This Battle

phoopes

I did it again
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Hey everyone, Hyper Combo KO here with an incredible warstory. Yes, that's right, a warstory. This is 2013 after all. So I'm on the BW OU suspect test ladder just trying to get reqs, when I run into a guy called Novaray. I check his ELO and it's waaaay higher than mine, but that's okay! Just means that I'll gain a lot when I inevitably win this battle. As we know, BW is all about weather, and I've got a great sand team cooking. As long as I can win the weather war, I should be just fine...

Battle started between Novaray and Hyper Combo KO!

Novaray sent out Jirachi!

Go! Latios!

Turn 1

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
(Latios lost 47% of its health!)

Latios flinched and couldn't move!

---

Knowing from Team Preview that this is going to be a classic Sand vs. Rain battle, I don't open up with my either of m weather-setters, Tyranitar and Hippowdon. I figure that if Novaray opens with Politoed, I'm on the back foot immediately and have to switch out, so I go with Latios, one of my strong special attackers. I see that I'm up against a Jirachi lead. I figure the best way to go is try and KO it before it KOs me, so naturally I click one of my strong attacking moves... Alas! It's Scarf Jirachi and I eat a hefty 47% before getting flinched, meaning I've made no progress this turn. It's alright though, we can bounce back from this. I have a plan in mind...

Turn 2

Latios, come back!
Go! Hippowdon!
[Hippowdon's Sand Stream]
A sandstorm kicked up!

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
(Hippowdon lost 18% of its health!)

(The sandstorm is raging.)

---

An easy decision here. My Hippowdon eats this Iron Head for breakfast, and I set up sand to boot. Novaray is really in it for it now. I have Earthquake on this Hippowdon, which will hit his offensive Jirachi hard for super-effective damage. He'll be forced to switch out, possible to Politoed in hopes of setting up rain. In the meantime, I can set up Stealth Rock instead of EQing. With no spinner on his team, this will be great in helping to whittle down Politoed in the weather wars, as well as do a good chunk of damage to his Tornadus when it switches in.

Turn 3

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
A critical hit!
(Hippowdon lost 38% of its health!)

Hippowdon flinched and couldn't move!

(The sandstorm is raging.)

---

...not a great turn. Novaray called that I would stay in and set up Stealth Rock, hit a crit on the Iron Head, and on top of everything else, flinched me again. No matter though! I will set up rocks even if it kills me.

Turn 4

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
(Hippowdon lost 19% of its health!)

Hippowdon used Stealth Rock!
Pointed stones float in the air around the opposing team!

(The sandstorm is raging.)

---

Haha! Rocks have been successfully set up! It took a bit to get my plan to where it needed to go, but this is step one toward winning this battle. I'm getting low on HP on Hippowdon though, so I should Slack Off to get some health back. I still threaten Jirachi with Earthquake though, so this should be a free turn for me while he switches to (probably) Politoed.

Turn 5

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
(Hippowdon lost 19% of its health!)

Hippowdon flinched and couldn't move!

(The sandstorm is raging.)

---

...alright then, so much for that. Another flinch is disheartening, and now my Hippowdon is in KO range of another Iron Head. What makes matters worse is that if he sets up his own Stealth Rock, Hippowdon is done for. After weighing my options, and especially with another sand-setter in Tyranitar in the back, I make the call: sacrifice my Hippowdon.

Turn 6

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
(Hippowdon lost 6% of its health!)

Hippowdon fainted!

(The sandstorm is raging.)

Go! Scizor!

---

As mentioned in the previous turn, I decide to sac Hippowdon. This allows me to get Scizor in for free. Locked into Iron Head, surely there's no way he stays in. Whatever switches in is going to eat a U-Turn, and then I get momentum back by countering his switch with the ideal member of my team. We're down one Pokemon so far and have gotten no damage on the Jirachi, but this battle is about to turn around, I can feel it.

Turn 7

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
It's not very effective...
(Scizor lost 22% of its health!)

Scizor used U-turn!
(The opposing Jirachi lost 40% of its health!)

Scizor, come back!
Go! Keldeo!

(The sandstorm is raging.)
Keldeo is buffeted by the sandstorm!

---

Aha! The fool decided to stay in on my Scizor. Scizor ate that Iron Head pretty well, and in return did a hefty 40% damage. Now, I switch out to my Keldeo (who also resists Iron Head) and can threaten a KO with Hydro Pump. He'll be forced to switch now!

Turn 8

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
It's not very effective...
(Keldeo lost 20% of its health!)

Keldeo flinched and couldn't move!

(The sandstorm is raging.)
Keldeo is buffeted by the sandstorm!

---

What a fool! He decided to stay in and Iron Head and just got a little lucky on the flinch. Hydro Pump certainly would have KO'd and he knows it! Surely there's no way he stays in again... he wouldn't possibly risk it. I think my safest play here is to go back to Scizor, because even if for some insane reason he DOES decide to stay in and keep clicking Iron Head, Scizor takes it like a champ and has the opportunity to do another 40ish% with U-Turn again.

Turn 9

Keldeo, come back!
Go! Scizor!

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
A critical hit!
It's not very effective...
(Scizor lost 40% of its health!)

(The sandstorm is raging.)
Scizor restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

---

...He really stayed in and was rewarded with a critical hit. Ugh. Sometimes this game just really kicks you while you're down, huh? It's no matter though. He's still three Iron Heads away from a kill. He can't just keep spamming Iron Head, can he? I'll just U-Turn again to get momentum back when he does decide to switch out.

Turn 10

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
It's not very effective...
(Scizor lost 21% of its health!)

Scizor flinched and couldn't move!

(The sandstorm is raging.)
Scizor restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

---

I SAID I'll just U-Turn again to get momentum back when he does decide to switch out.

Turn 11

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
It's not very effective...
(Scizor lost 22% of its health!)

Scizor flinched and couldn't move!

(The sandstorm is raging.)
Scizor restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

---

...Man, fuck this noise. I just need to get some damage off on this Jirachi. We Bullet Punch and just hope for the best now.

Turn 12

Scizor used Bullet Punch!
A critical hit!
It's not very effective...
(The opposing Jirachi lost 37% of its health!)

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
It's not very effective...
(Scizor lost 14% of its health!)

Scizor fainted!

(The sandstorm is raging.)

Go! Keldeo!

---

Haha! A critical hit! Finally things are beginning to go my way. I bring Keldeo back in to threaten the KO, this time with Secret Sword so he can't get cheeky and bring in a water resist on Hydro Pump for free. I'll hit him with Secret Sword on the inevitable switch-out...

Turn 13

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
It's not very effective...
(Keldeo lost 19% of its health!)

Keldeo flinched and couldn't move!

(The sandstorm is raging.)
Keldeo is buffeted by the sandstorm!

---

...it's okay. Really, it's fine. I have one more shot at this. He's CLEARLY not switching out, so I'll just KO with Keldeo NEXT turn instead.

Turn 14

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
It's not very effective...
(Keldeo lost 21% of its health!)

Keldeo flinched and couldn't move!

(The sandstorm is raging.)
Keldeo is buffeted by the sandstorm!

---

...

Turn 15

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
It's not very effective...
(Keldeo lost 14% of its health!)

Keldeo fainted!

(The sandstorm is raging.)
Hyper Combo KO: haha this is the worst battle ever XD

Go! Landorus!

---

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Turn 16

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
(Landorus lost 40% of its health!)

Landorus flinched and couldn't move!

(The sandstorm is raging.)

---

Landorus. My sweet, sweet Landorus. Surely you will be the one to break the flinch curse and KO. I can still bring this battle back, I know I can. With your power, Landorus, anything is possible. After all, I still have my Tyranitar in the back for the weather war with Politoed. Please, Landorus, I'm begging you.

Turn 17

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
(Landorus lost 42% of its health!)

Landorus flinched and couldn't move!

(The sandstorm is raging.)

---

LANDORUS NOOOOO

Turn 18

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
(Landorus lost 18% of its health!)

Landorus fainted!

(The sandstorm is raging.)

Go! Tyranitar!

---

Sigh. I'm forced to choose between Latios and Tyranitar here. I end up going with Tyranitar, as to save Latios for a reverse sweep later. This may seem like a strange decision until you realize I have Babiri Berry for situations just like this! I'm so smart for forseeing a situation like this. Babiri Berry will allow me to take an Iron Head pretty well and end up KOing this godforsaken Jirachi in return. Finally.

Turn 19

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
(Tyranitar ate its Babiri Berry!)
It's super effective!
(Tyranitar lost 29% of its health!)

Tyranitar flinched and couldn't move!

(The sandstorm is raging.)

---

I'm going to murder someone.

Turn 20

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
It's super effective!
(Tyranitar lost 50% of its health!)

Tyranitar flinched and couldn't move!

(The sandstorm is raging.)

---

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Turn 21

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
It's super effective!
(Tyranitar lost 21% of its health!)

Tyranitar fainted!

(The sandstorm is raging.)

Go! Latios!

---

...This is it. Latios, you are my last bastion of hope. You are the only one who can save us all. Please, please, please. Take out this Jirachi. Even if we can't win the war, we can still win this one final battle.

Turn 22

The opposing Jirachi used Iron Head!
(Latios lost 52% of its health!)

Latios used Surf!
(The opposing Jirachi lost 23% of its health!)

The opposing Jirachi fainted!

(The sandstorm is raging.)
Latios is buffeted by the sandstorm!

Latios fainted!

Novaray won the battle!
Ladder updating...
Novaray's rating: 1835 → 1848
(+13 for winning)
Hyper Combo KO's rating: 1409 → 1364
(-45 for losing)

---

It's over. God have mercy it is finally over. We did it.
 
"Unfortunate" doesn't begin to describe my series, this game rewards blind luck and nothing else, I am beyond convinced at this point. After getting completely tooled by scheduling with my opponent changing times on me last minute and refusing to provide confirmation prior to the day of the match as to play times, losing this way somehow felt even worse than I had thought possible. My preparation was superior, my play was superior, and I lost, so I don't see a reason to continue engaging in an activity where what is within my control is overwhelmingly outweighed by what is not. I am done with competitive Pokemon, and you won't get a fond farewell. This community is infected to its roots with a degenerative disease that grows stronger over time but stops short of killing its host. Tournaments used to have a competitive spirit at their heart, this has been transplanted and replaced with an artificial organ that feeds on vitriol and mockery from insecure little boys that heckle by the sidelines and tear each other to shreds over scraps of attention. The environment we fostered has trapped us all like this in a vicious cycle, and escaping it requires acceptance of the harshest reality we all scramble to explain away, that none of the countless straining efforts we put ourselves through here will ever amount to one single shining glimmer of significance. I would make this the end, but World Cup is still ongoing, and I would never leave so many great friends out to dry, so I'll suffer through a few more games for them. One last thing before I leave you all to react with disdain, ridicule, and self-righteous fervor, before you do everything in your power to minimize my words and thoughts, box them up and shove them to some cobwebbed corner of your memory, and hope they disappear forever as a stain on your finite time ground to dust. From this moment on, nothing you say matters to me. The foulest insults you hurl with intent to wound will calmly settle at the earth before my feet, and the venom you spit will bring all the pain of a warm summer breeze. You are less than anything you can conceive, while I carry on, brimming with joy distilled from detachment.

Also, thanks for bringing back war stories :), as a newer member it’s really fun to be able to experience parts of the old smogon culture
 
inspired by this warstory, I decided to return to the DPP ladder with a paraflinch team of uxie/togekiss/jirachi/dunsparce/blissey/magnezone. there are matches I lose due to hax (iron head not flinching) but so far it is a resounding success (absolutely terrorizing low-mid ladder, countless ragequits, reached an elo of 1337)

as a highlight of my ladder journey I'd like to share this screenshot


 
Last edited:

awyp

'Alexa play Ladyfingers by Herb Alpert'
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inspired by this warstory, I decided to return to the DPP ladder with a paraflinch team of uxie/togekiss/jirachi/dunsparce/blissey/magnezone. there are matches I lose due to hax (iron head not flinching) but so far it is a resounding success (absolutely terrorizing low-mid ladder, countless ragequits, reached an elo of 1337)

as a highlight of my ladder journey I'd like to share this screenshot


this is peak dpp ou btw
 

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