The Well #-1 - ?????

[CaffeineBoost]

You're walking in a field. It's lunch time, and you've brought your favourite: ham and cheese sandwiches.

You find a spot to rest, a humble well. Sitting on the well, you pull out your flask of water and unwrap the tinfoil containing your pocket-sized feast.
​

⁕ H-Hey! You there! Oh thank god somebody's here... I've been here for a few days... can you get me out of here?

You look down the well. Sure enough, it contains a man in an unbuttoned shirt. His hair is disheveled and you can safely assume he hasn't shaved for a bit.

It is 10am. What do you do?​

 

[phoopes]

Hey there stranger. Would you fuck a ghost?

 

[CaffeineBoost]

⁕ Hey there stranger. Would you fuck a ghost?

⁕ I... what? Why do you...

⁕ Can you just help me get out of here?

 

[Bog Monster]

I can't bring you up, but I can get you high

 

[Ullar]

who eats lunch at 10 AM? the protagonist has confusing and contradictory motivations, -1/10 rp

 

[CaffeineBoost]

⁕ I can't bring you up, but I can get you high

⁕ Oh great, someone finally finds me and it's a junkie...

 

[CaffeineBoost]

⁕ who eats lunch at 10 AM? the protagonist has confusing and contradictory motivations, -1/10 rp

⁕ There's no food down here, how can I even have lunch? Also what do you mean by "-1/10 rp", you're making no sense, please help me out of this well...

 

[HydrogenHydreigon]

Deck the halls with bows of holly

 

[CaffeineBoost]

> Deck the halls with bows of holly

You attempt to deck the halls with bows of holly, but there are no halls... or bows... or boughs for that matter.​

 

[Theorymon]

As I think in my drug-fueled haze, I think of a most brilliant idea: use an explosion to get this man out of the well!

I pour a large container of gasoline down the well, and I yell "you'll be out of here soon!". I light a match (I have many of them on me), and I throw it down the well.

 

[CaffeineBoost]

> As I think in my drug-fueled haze, I think of a most brilliant idea: use an explosion to get this man out of the well!

> I pour a large container of gasoline down the well, and I yell "you'll be out of here soon!". I light a match (I have many of them on me), and I throw it down the well.

⁕ Uuuh... what are you doing?

The confused expression on the man's face tells you that he doesn't understand the brilliance of your plan... wait... where's the fire?
As your psychosis ends and you come back to your senses, you realise that you've emptied your flask of water into the well.
​

⁕ Water is, like, the one thing I don't need right now.

It is 11am.​

 

[fx]

Hello, friend! Would you care for some detritus worms?

 

[CaffeineBoost]

⁕ Hello, friend! Would you care for some detritus worms?

⁕ Can you please stop messing around? Don't you have a phone or something? Call the emergency services, maybe they can get me out of here.

 

[Bog Monster]

[FLAIL ARMS]
I take pity on the poor man and call the fire department

 

[Bug Maniac Aydon]

How do I know you aren't imprisoned here for your crimes?

 

[CaffeineBoost]

> I take pity on the poor man and call the fire department

You heed the man's advice and call the fire department. There is no signal.
​

⁕ No signal? Ugh... I appreciate your help though... fuck I'm so hungry... I miss my family and... please don't leave, can you find anything that might help me out?

 

[CaffeineBoost]

⁕ How do I know you aren't imprisoned here for your crimes?

⁕ Is this really the time to be making dumb jokes?

 

[Bug Maniac Aydon]

L + plundered + no wenches + marooned + ye have scurvy

 

[brightobject]

>turn the extremely tough crusts from my sandwiches into a rope and pull him up

 

[Albatross]

I approach the well with a copious amount of women by my side. With my modest amount of sandwiches I plan to recreate the famous fish and bread miracle, but instead of fish its ham and cheese and instead of being a meal for some grubby people it shall be a feast for my truly immense number of wives. Seriously, I cannot begin to explain to you how many woman I both know and am in a relationship with. Sappho would be proud. But before I can perform my epic miracle I hear the git in the well

I, an empath, realise this man is in distress. I, however, do not care and begin to laugh very loudly at this prat who's fallen down the well. My harem of women also join in on the drollery. There is now an albatross and a large group of very attractive women - who are definitely real btw - laughing at you. You cannot prevent this.

 

[ThatOneSpork]

> Upon actually thinking for a second, I realize what must be done. I toss the man an inflatable object and start filling the well to the top with any liquid I can find.

 

[CaffeineBoost]

⁕ L + plundered + no wenches + marooned + ye have scurvy

⁕ ...

 

[CaffeineBoost]

> turn the extremely tough crusts from my sandwiches into a rope and pull him up

You throw the sandwiches into the well. They are immediately made soggy by the water.
​

⁕ Shit! You should have warned me, I could've caught that! Ugh, now they're all soggy... man I'm really hungry though.

The man attempts to eat the sandwich. He fails.​

 

[CaffeineBoost]

> I approach the well with a copious amount of women by my side. With my modest amount of sandwiches I plan to recreate the famous fish and bread miracle, but instead of fish its ham and cheese and instead of being a meal for some grubby people it shall be a feast for my truly immense number of wives. Seriously, I cannot begin to explain to you how many woman I both know and am in a relationship with. Sappho would be proud. But before I can perform my epic miracle I hear the git in the well

I, an empath, realise this man is in distress. I, however, do not care and begin to laugh very loudly at this prat who's fallen down the well. My harem of women also join in on the drollery. There is now an albatross and a large group of very attractive women - who are definitely real btw - laughing at you. You cannot prevent this.

ERROR: the game has encountered an error 4xcq0001000
Asset: women.ogg not found
Asset: wives.ogg not found
Asset: relationship.ogg not found
Asset: Sappho.ogg not found
Asset: empath.ogg not found
Asset: harem.ogg not found
Asset: albatross.ogg not found
Asset: groupofveryattractivewomen.ogg not found​

 

[CaffeineBoost]

> Upon actually thinking for a second, I realize what must be done. I toss the man an inflatable object and start filling the well to the top with any liquid I can find.

You find a bouncy castle conveniently left behind, this field was probably a fairground at some point...
It does not fit in the well.
You have already emptied your flask of water into the well.​