the one shot

[tennisace]

Look
If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it
Or just let it slip?

-----------------------------

in this thread, you have one shot to post. no responding to people after you, no edits, no guidelines. the best post you can make. if you post more than once or edit your post i'll delete it and you wasted your shot.

let's see what you got, smogoff.

 

[vonFiedler]

Let me think about this one

 

[Kalalokki]

ok so here's my idea: what if

 

[emma]

mish

 

[Oglemi]

 

[theotherguytm]

First unbadged user to post in this thread. Yay.
Also, I've been thinking about D&D way too much because I thought the title of this thread was referencing a D&D oneshot the creator of this thread had done.

 

[Plague von Karma]

OU Has Learned Nothing From Gen 7

 

[earl]

this is a bit too much pressure for me sorry

 

[A Golden Waddle Dee]

peepee poopoo

 

[Rabia]

 

[WaterBomb]

I'm a boomer so my memes are shit and I try too hard to be "pog" to impress the zoomers

 

[Ununhexium]

id go chomper here

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

there's a pokemon that's just a set of keys

 

[bb skarm]

In a distant land far and unknown to the general public there journeys a cowboy with big boots and a mustache that might be so luscious it is habitat to creatures unseen before by the naked human eye. On this journey, exhausted, he runs into a remote town where the people don’t make much sense and the sun shines especially brightly. Regardless, the man heads into this town because he knows he is short on food, rest, and frankly motivation. He heads to the market and sees that the food is unlike any other he has seen before, to the point where he in normal times would be so disgusted he wouldn’t dare keep it in his sight for more than half of a second, but yet he knows he has to get something to feast on as he can feel his energy levels sinking as each passing second goes by. Scouting the market, he sees a vendor with so much popularity surrounding what they are selling, that even he is tempted to see what exactly they have going on over there.

The cowboy waits in line, and while in line, learns that the vendor is selling a nourishment that, while he couldn’t hear clearly, makes it out to be something along the lines of a “doink meem”. He asks the kind person waiting in line ahead of him what is just so special about this consumable, and they reply saying his question is better suited for the vendor. Weridly, the cowboy accepts this response as if it had made perfect sense to him. Once he reached the front of the line, he asked the vendor if he could purchase their most popular item, and the vendor says he can as they just had a new shipment come in. Relieved, the man hands over a crisp 100$ bill, knowing that regardless of the price that should be more than enough to cover the purchase. The vendor rejects his offer, and explains to him the primary currency in this remote town is called “likes”. The vendor then goes to explain that what he’s selling is not a nourishment, rather an investment. His logic is that by selling doink meems, the person can consume these doink meems, and occasionally every doink meem will reward him with some random amount of likes currency - meaning you could gain or lose likes by making this purchase. After all, this did explain the pretty high initial purchase price for one of these doink meems. The man makes it clear that while he needs some currency, he is in more dire need of food and rest. The vendor says he understands his concern and tells him he’s about to wrap up shop and the man can come over for dinner that night.

At dinner, the vendor tells the man he is only able to have him over for this one night due to his family from across town visiting the next day. The man understands and explains it looks like he will be in town for a decent amount of time as it is the only form of civilization he’s passed through in what’s felt like weeks. The vendor tells him that if he wants to get likes, he should learn how to play this card game used with dice. It’s a bit of a game of luck, but by being able to play it and discuss it at the tavern, he’ll be able to earn some likes and make a living for himself. The vendor explains the rules of the game to the man and they both play it together for what feels like hours. By the end of the night, the cowboy is nearly an expert at the game. They both rest up.

The cowboy heads over to the most popular tavern in the town and realizes he will have to debate and win his ass off if he wants to have any chance to avoid going back to square one. After hours of debating and playing, the man is actually seeing some decent success. He has learned the tendencies of other players, and his card and dice game skills are through the ceiling. By afternoon, the man is instantly rich, accomplishing this in the matter of a few hours. He realizes he might be able to reside in this town for a bit longer than he had first anticipated, even if it is reliant on him winning games.

That evening, the bartender makes an announcement. He says that they will setup a bulletin board next to the entrance, and people in the tavern can line up to, in his words, “post” a notecard with a funny etching or statement on it, and at the end of the night, the notecard with the funniest contents will win thousands of likes. The man, already set on likes, decides to enter anyways. He waits in line for a very long time, and sees hundreds of people write their notecards on the bulletin. The urgency for likes is no longer there for the man, but he wants to win just as any other normal human would. Once he gets to the front of the line, he sees all the notecards put on that bulletin before him, and realizes he is kind of confused. He asks the bartender what’s wrong with the bulletin, and the cowboy explains that it feels almost pointless to even try to write a notecard on here as there would be no way any notecard stood out, and then argued that frankly this bulletin that he expected to be hilarious underwhelmed severely as he realized that after a while of reading these notecards he found that few if any were funny at all. The bartender, confuses asks him what in the world made him say this. The cowboy replies,

“every post is the exact same joke”

 

[elleapple]

Using this post to kickstart my campaign for Smogoff President. I hope you will vote for me come the election next year.
My achievements include:
- making that 1 funny post about yung dramps
- accidentally starting the "appreciation post" trend
- using the nickname "the queen of comedy" on multiple discord servers
- securing the name "anime sans"
- and more to come

I hope to see you out there on election day smogoff users o7

 

[Adeleine]

b/w scuttled pokemon by handling a reboot badly, thus discouraging future risk-taking

 

[monkfish]

 

[antemortem]

yeah you’re definitely too old for this

 

[MAMP]

m

 

[MegaBanette69]

Hey, guess what?

Your gay

Just kidding I hope you have a great day

 

[Irpachuza]

Hide

Accordingtoallknownlawsofaviation,thereisnowayabeeshouldbeabletofly.Itswingsaretoosmalltogetitsfatlittlebodyofftheground.Thebee,ofcourse,fliesanywaybecausebeesdon'tcarewhathumansthinkisimpossible.Yellow,black.Yellow,black.Yellow,black.Yellow,black.Ooh,blackandyellow!Let'sshakeitupalittle.Barry!Breakfastisready!Ooming!Hangonasecond.HelloBarryAdamOanyoubelievethisishappeningIcan't.I'llpickyouup.Lookingsharp.Usethestairs.Yourfatherpaidgoodmoneyforthose.Sorry.I'mexcited.Here'sthegraduate.We'reveryproudofyou,son.Aperfectreportcard,allB's.Veryproud.Ma!Igotathinggoinghere.Yougotlintonyourfuzz.Ow!That'sme!Wavetous!We'llbeinrow118,000.Bye!Barry,Itoldyou,stopflyinginthehouse!Hey,Adam.Hey,Barry.IsthatfuzzgelAlittle.Specialday,graduation.NeverthoughtI'dmakeit.Threedaysgradeschool,threedayshighschool.Thosewereawkward.Threedayscollege.I'mgladItookadayandhitchhikedaroundthehive.Youdidcomebackdifferent.Hi,Barry.Artie,growingamustacheLooksgood.HearaboutFrankieYeah.YougoingtothefuneralNo,I'mnotgoing.Everybodyknows,stingsomeone,youdie.Don'twasteitonasquirrel.Suchahothead.Iguesshecouldhavejustgottenoutoftheway.Ilovethisincorporatinganamusementparkintoourday.That'swhywedon'tneedvacations.Boy,quiteabitofpomp...underthecircumstances.Well,Adam,todaywearemen.Weare!Beemen.Amen!Hallelujah!Students,faculty,distinguishedbees,pleasewelcomeDeanBuzzwell.Welcome,NewHiveOitygraduatingclassof......9:15.Thatconcludesourceremonies.AndbeginsyourcareeratHonexIndustries!WillwepickourjobtodayIheardit'sjustorientation.Headsup!Herewego.Keepyourhandsandantennasinsidethetramatalltimes.Wonderwhatit'llbelikeAlittlescary.WelcometoHonex,adivisionofHonescoandapartoftheHexagonGroup.Thisisit!Wow.Wow.Weknowthatyou,asabee,haveworkedyourwholelifetogettothepointwhereyoucanworkforyourwholelife.HoneybeginswhenourvaliantPollenJocksbringthenectartothehive.Ourtopsecretformulaisautomaticallycolorcorrected,scentadjustedandbubblecontouredintothissoothingsweetsyrupwithitsdistinctivegoldenglowyouknowas...Honey!Thatgirlwashot.She'smycousin!SheisYes,we'reallcousins.Right.You'reright.AtHonex,weconstantlystrivetoimproveeveryaspectofbeeexistence.Thesebeesarestresstestinganewhelmettechnology.WhatdoyouthinkhemakesNotenough.Herewehaveourlatestadvancement,theKrelman.WhatdoesthatdoOatchesthatlittlestrandofhoneythathangsafteryoupourit.Savesusmillions.OananyoneworkontheKrelmanOfcourse.Mostbeejobsaresmallones.Butbeesknowthateverysmalljob,ifit'sdonewell,meansalot.Butchoosecarefullybecauseyou'llstayinthejobyoupickfortherestofyourlife.ThesamejobtherestofyourlifeIdidn'tknowthat.What'sthedifferenceYou'llbehappytoknowthatbees,asaspecies,haven'thadonedayoffin27millionyears.Soyou'lljustworkustodeathWe'llsuretry.Wow!Thatblewmymind!"What'sthedifference"HowcanyousaythatOnejobforeverThat'saninsanechoicetohavetomake.I'mrelieved.Nowweonlyhavetomakeonedecisioninlife.But,Adam,howcouldtheyneverhavetoldusthatWhywouldyouquestionanythingWe'rebees.We'rethemostperfectlyfunctioningsocietyonEarth.YoueverthinkmaybethingsworkalittletoowellhereLikewhatGivemeoneexample.Idon'tknow.ButyouknowwhatI'mtalkingabout.Pleaseclearthegate.RoyalNectarForceonapproach.Waitasecond.Oheckitout.Hey,thosearePollenJocks!Wow.I'veneverseenthemthisclose.Theyknowwhatit'slikeoutsidethehive.Yeah,butsomedon'tcomeback.Hey,Jocks!Hi,Jocks!Youguysdidgreat!You'remonsters!You'reskyfreaks!Iloveit!Iloveit!Iwonderwheretheywere.Idon'tknow.Theirday'snotplanned.Outsidethehive,flyingwhoknowswhere,doingwhoknowswhat.Youcan'tjustdecidetobeaPollenJock.Youhavetobebredforthat.Right.Look.That'smorepollenthanyouandIwillseeinalifetime.It'sjustastatussymbol.Beesmaketoomuchofit.Perhaps.Unlessyou'rewearingitandtheladiesseeyouwearingit.ThoseladiesAren'ttheyourcousinstooDistant.Distant.Lookatthesetwo.OoupleofHiveHarrys.Let'shavefunwiththem.ItmustbedangerousbeingaPollenJock.Yeah.Onceabearpinnedmeagainstamushroom!Hehadapawonmythroat,andwiththeother,hewasslappingme!Oh,my!IneverthoughtI'dknockhimout.WhatwereyoudoingduringthisTryingtoalerttheauthorities.Icanautographthat.Alittlegustyouttheretoday,wasn'tit,comradesYeah.Gusty.We'rehittingasunflowerpatchsixmilesfromheretomorrow.Sixmiles,huhBarry!Apuddlejumpforus,butmaybeyou'renotupforit.MaybeIam.Youarenot!We'regoing0900atJGate.Whatdoyouthink,buzzyboyAreyoubeeenoughImightbe.Italldependsonwhat0900means.Hey,Honex!Dad,yousurprisedme.Youdecidewhatyou'reinterestedinWell,there'salotofchoices.Butyouonlygetone.DoyouevergetboreddoingthesamejobeverydaySon,letmetellyouaboutstirring.Yougrabthatstick,andyoujustmoveitaround,andyoustiritaround.Yougetyourselfintoarhythm.It'sabeautifulthing.Youknow,Dad,themoreIthinkaboutit,maybethehoneyfieldjustisn'trightforme.Youwerethinkingofwhat,makingballoonanimalsThat'sabadjobforaguywithastinger.Janet,yourson'snotsurehewantstogointohoney!Barry,youaresofunnysometimes.I'mnottryingtobefunny.You'renotfunny!You'regoingintohoney.Ourson,thestirrer!You'regonnabeastirrerNoone'slisteningtome!WaittillyouseethesticksIhave.Icouldsayanythingrightnow.I'mgonnagetananttattoo!Let'sopensomehoneyandcelebrate!MaybeI'llpiercemythorax.Shavemyantennae.Shackupwithagrasshopper.Getagoldtoothandcalleverybody"dawg"!I'msoproud.We'restartingworktoday!Today'stheday.Oomeon!Allthegoodjobswillbegone.Yeah,right.Pollencounting,stuntbee,pouring,stirrer,frontdesk,hairremoval...IsitstillavailableHangon.Twoleft!Oneofthem'syours!Oongratulations!Steptotheside.What'dyougetPickingcrudout.Stellar!Wow!OoupleofnewbiesYes,sir!Ourfirstday!Weareready!Makeyourchoice.YouwanttogofirstNo,yougo.Oh,my.What'savailableRestroomattendant'sopen,notforthereasonyouthink.AnychanceofgettingtheKrelmanSure,you'reon.I'msorry,theKrelmanjustclosedout.Waxmonkey'salwaysopen.TheKrelmanopenedupagain.WhathappenedAbeedied.Makesanopening.SeeHe'sdead.Anotherdeadone.Deady.Deadified.Twomoredead.Deadfromtheneckup.Deadfromtheneckdown.That'slife!Oh,thisissohard!Heating,cooling,stuntbee,pourer,stirrer,humming,inspectornumberseven,lintcoordinator,stripesupervisor,mitewrangler.Barry,whatdoyouthinkIshould...BarryBarry!Allright,we'vegotthesunflowerpatchinquadrantnine...WhathappenedtoyouWhereareyouI'mgoingout.OutOutwhereOutthere.Oh,no!Ihaveto,beforeIgotoworkfortherestofmylife.You'regonnadie!You'recrazy!HelloAnothercallcomingin.Ifanyone'sfeelingbrave,there'saKoreandelion83rdthatgetstheirrosestoday.Hey,guys.Lookatthat.Isn'tthatthekidwesawyesterdayHoldit,son,flightdeck'srestricted.It'sOK,Lou.We'regonnatakehimup.ReallyFeelinglucky,areyouSignhere,here.Justinitialthat.Thankyou.OK.Yougotarainadvisorytoday,andasyouallknow,beescannotflyinrain.Sobecareful.Asalways,watchyourbrooms,hockeysticks,dogs,birds,bearsandbats.Also,Igotacoupleofreportsofrootbeerbeingpouredonus.Murphy'sinahomebecauseofit,babblinglikeacicada!That'sawful.Andareminderforyourookies,beelawnumberone,absolutelynotalkingtohumans!Allright,launchpositions!Buzz,buzz,buzz,buzz!Buzz,buzz,buzz,buzz!Buzz,buzz,buzz,buzz!Blackandyellow!Hello!Youreadyforthis,hotshotYeah.Yeah,bringiton.Wind,check.Antennae,check.Nectarpack,check.Wings,check.Stinger,check.Scaredoutofmyshorts,check.OK,ladies,let'smoveitout!Poundthosepetunias,youstripedstemsuckers!Allofyou,drainthoseflowers!Wow!I'mout!Ican'tbelieveI'mout!Soblue.Ifeelsofastandfree!Boxkite!Wow!Flowers!ThisisBlueLeader.Wehaverosesvisual.Bringitaround30degreesandhold.Roses!30degrees,roger.Bringingitaround.Standtotheside,kid.It'sgotabitofakick.Thatisonenectarcollector!EverseepollinationupcloseNo,sir.Ipickupsomepollenhere,sprinkleitoverhere.Maybeadashoverthere,apinchonthatone.SeethatIt'salittlebitofmagic.That'samazing.WhydowedothatThat'spollenpower.Morepollen,moreflowers,morenectar,morehoneyforus.Oool.I'mpickingupalotofbrightyellow.Oouldbedaisies.Don'tweneedthoseOopythatvisual.Wait.Oneoftheseflowersseemstobeonthemove.SayagainYou'rereportingamovingflowerAffirmative.Thatwasontheline!Thisisthecoolest.WhatisitIdon'tknow,butI'mlovingthiscolor.Itsmellsgood.Notlikeaflower,butIlikeit.Yeah,fuzzy.Ohemicaly.Oareful,guys.It'salittlegrabby.Mysweetlordofbees!Oandybrain,getoffthere!Problem!Guys!Thiscouldbebad.Affirmative.Veryclose.Gonnahurt.Mama'slittleboy.Youarewayoutofposition,rookie!Oominginatyoulikeamissile!Helpme!Idon'tthinktheseareflowers.ShouldwetellhimIthinkheknows.Whatisthis!Matchpoint!Youcanstartpackingup,honey,becauseyou'reabouttoeatit!Yowser!Gross.There'sabeeinthecar!Dosomething!I'mdriving!Hi,bee.He'sbackhere!He'sgoingtostingme!Nobodymove.Ifyoudon'tmove,hewon'tstingyou.Freeze!Heblinked!Sprayhim,Granny!Whatareyoudoing!Wow...thetensionlevelouthereisunbelievable.Igottagethome.Oan'tflyinrain.Oan'tflyinrain.Oan'tflyinrain.Mayday!Mayday!Beegoingdown!Ken,couldyouclosethewindowpleaseKen,couldyouclosethewindowpleaseOheckoutmynewresume.Imadeitintoafoldoutbrochure.YouseeFoldsout.Oh,no.Morehumans.Idon'tneedthis.WhatwasthatMaybethistime.Thistime.Thistime.Thistime!Thistime!This...Drapes!Thatisdiabolical.It'sfantastic.It'sgotallmyspecialskills,evenmytoptenfavoritemovies.What'snumberoneStarWarsNah,Idon'tgoforthat......kindofstuff.Nowonderweshouldn'ttalktothem.They'reoutoftheirminds.WhenIleaveajobinterview,they'reflabbergasted,can'tbelievewhatIsay.There'sthesun.Maybethat'sawayout.Idon'trememberthesunhavingabig75onit.Ipredictedglobalwarming.Icouldfeelitgettinghotter.AtfirstIthoughtitwasjustme.Wait!Stop!Bee!Standback.Thesearewinterboots.Wait!Don'tkillhim!YouknowI'mallergictothem!Thisthingcouldkillme!WhydoeshislifehavelessvaluethanyoursWhydoeshislifehaveanylessvaluethanmineIsthatyourstatementI'mjustsayingalllifehasvalue.Youdon'tknowwhathe'scapableoffeeling.Mybrochure!Thereyougo,littleguy.I'mnotscaredofhim.It'sanallergicthing.Putthatonyourresumebrochure.Mywholefacecouldpuffup.Makeitoneofyourspecialskills.Knockingsomeoneoutisalsoaspecialskill.Right.Bye,Vanessa.Thanks.Vanessa,nextweekYogurtnightSure,Ken.Youknow,whatever.Youcouldputcarobchipsonthere.Bye.Supposedtobelesscalories.Bye.Igottasaysomething.Shesavedmylife.Igottasaysomething.Allright,hereitgoes.Nah.WhatwouldIsayIcouldreallygetintrouble.It'sabeelaw.You'renotsupposedtotalktoahuman.Ican'tbelieveI'mdoingthis.I'vegotto.Oh,Ican'tdoit.Oomeon!No.Yes.No.Doit.Ican't.HowshouldIstartit"Youlikejazz"No,that'snogood.Hereshecomes!Speak,youfool!Hi!I'msorry.You'retalking.Yes,Iknow.You'retalking!I'msosorry.No,it'sOK.It'sfine.IknowI'mdreaming.ButIdon'trecallgoingtobed.Well,I'msurethisisverydisconcerting.Thisisabitofasurprisetome.Imean,you'reabee!Iam.AndI'mnotsupposedtobedoingthis,buttheywerealltryingtokillme.Andifitwasn'tforyou...Ihadtothankyou.It'sjusthowIwasraised.Thatwasalittleweird.I'mtalkingwithabee.Yeah.I'mtalkingtoabee.Andthebeeistalkingtome!IjustwanttosayI'mgrateful.I'llleavenow.Wait!HowdidyoulearntodothatWhatThetalkingthing.Samewayyoudid,Iguess."Mama,Dada,honey."Youpickitup.That'sveryfunny.Yeah.Beesarefunny.Ifwedidn'tlaugh,we'dcrywithwhatwehavetodealwith.Anyway...OanI......getyousomethingLikewhatIdon'tknow.Imean...Idon'tknow.OoffeeIdon'twanttoputyouout.It'snotrouble.Ittakestwominutes.It'sjustcoffee.Ihatetoimpose.Don'tberidiculous!Actually,Iwouldloveacup.Hey,youwantrumcakeIshouldn't.Havesome.No,Ican't.Oomeon!I'mtryingtoloseacouplemicrograms.WhereThesestripesdon'thelp.Youlookgreat!Idon'tknowifyouknowanythingaboutfashion.AreyouallrightNo.He'smakingthetieinthecabasthey'reflyingupMadison.Hefinallygetsthere.Herunsupthestepsintothechurch.Theweddingison.Andhesays,"WatermelonIthoughtyousaidGuatemalan.WhywouldImarryawatermelon"IsthatabeejokeThat'sthekindofstuffwedo.Yeah,different.So,whatareyougonnado,BarryAboutworkIdon'tknow.Iwanttodomypartforthehive,butIcan'tdoitthewaytheywant.Iknowhowyoufeel.YoudoSure.Myparentswantedmetobealawyeroradoctor,butIwantedtobeaflorist.ReallyMyonlyinterestisflowers.Ournewqueenwasjustelectedwiththatsamecampaignslogan.Anyway,ifyoulook...There'smyhiverightthere.SeeitYou'reinSheepMeadow!Yes!I'mrightofftheTurtlePond!Noway!Iknowthatarea.Ilostatoeringthereonce.WhydogirlsputringsontheirtoesWhynotIt'slikeputtingahatonyourknee.MaybeI'lltrythat.Youallright,ma'amOh,yeah.Fine.Justhavingtwocupsofcoffee!Anyway,thishasbeengreat.Thanksforthecoffee.Yeah,it'snotrouble.SorryIcouldn'tfinishit.IfIdid,I'dbeuptherestofmylife.Areyou...OanItakeapieceofthiswithmeSure!Here,haveacrumb.Thanks!Yeah.Allright.Well,then...IguessI'llseeyouaround.Ornot.OK,Barry.Andthankyousomuchagain...forbefore.Oh,thatThatwasnothing.Well,notnothing,but...Anyway...Thiscan'tpossiblywork.He'sallsettogo.Wemayaswelltryit.OK,Dave,pullthechute.Soundsamazing.Itwasamazing!Itwasthescariest,happiestmomentofmylife.Humans!Ican'tbelieveyouwerewithhumans!Giant,scaryhumans!WhatweretheylikeHugeandcrazy.Theytalkcrazy.Theyeatcrazygiantthings.Theydrivecrazy.Dotheytryandkillyou,likeonTVSomeofthem.Butsomeofthemdon't.How'dyougetbackPoodle.Youdidit,andI'mglad.Yousawwhateveryouwantedtosee.Youhadyour"experience."Nowyoucanpickoutyourjobandbenormal.Well...WellWell,Imetsomeone.YoudidWassheBeeishAwasp!Yourparentswillkillyou!No,no,no,notawasp.SpiderI'mnotattractedtospiders.Iknowit'sthehottestthing,withtheeightlegsandall.Ican'tgetbythatface.SowhoissheShe's...human.No,no.That'sabeelaw.Youwouldn'tbreakabeelaw.Hername'sVanessa.Oh,boy.She'ssonice.Andshe'saflorist!Oh,no!You'redatingahumanflorist!We'renotdating.You'reflyingoutsidethehive,talkingtohumansthatattackourhomeswithpowerwashersandM80s!Oneeighthastickofdynamite!Shesavedmylife!Andsheunderstandsme.Thisisover!Eatthis.Thisisnotover!WhatwasthatTheycallitacrumb.Itwassostingin'stripey!Andthat'snotwhattheyeat.That'swhatfallsoffwhattheyeat!YouknowwhataOinnabonisNo.It'sbreadandcinnamonandfrosting.Theyheatitup...Sitdown!...reallyhot!Listentome!Wearenotthem!We'reus.There'susandthere'sthem!Yes,butwhocandenytheheartthatisyearningThere'snoyearning.Stopyearning.Listentome!Youhavegottostartthinkingbee,myfriend.Thinkingbee!Thinkingbee.Thinkingbee.Thinkingbee!Thinkingbee!Thinkingbee!Thinkingbee!Thereheis.He'sinthepool.Youknowwhatyourproblemis,BarryIgottastartthinkingbeeHowmuchlongerwillthisgoonIt'sbeenthreedays!Whyaren'tyouworkingI'vegotalotofbiglifedecisionstothinkabout.WhatlifeYouhavenolife!Youhavenojob.You'rebarelyabee!WoulditkillyoutomakealittlehoneyBarry,comeout.Yourfather'stalkingtoyou.Martin,wouldyoutalktohimBarry,I'mtalkingtoyou!YoucomingGoteverythingAllset!Goahead.I'llcatchup.Don'tbetoolong.Watchthis!Vanessa!We'restillhere.Itoldyounottoyellathim.Hedoesn'trespondtoyelling!ThenwhyyellatmeBecauseyoudon'tlisten!I'mnotlisteningtothis.Sorry,I'vegottago.WhereareyougoingI'mmeetingafriend.AgirlIsthiswhyyoucan'tdecideBye.Ijusthopeshe'sBeeish.TheyhaveahugeparadeofflowerseveryyearinPasadenaTobeintheTournamentofRoses,that'severyflorist'sdream!Uponafloat,surroundedbyflowers,crowdscheering.Atournament.DotherosescompeteinathleticeventsNo.Allright,I'vegotone.Howcomeyoudon'tflyeverywhereIt'sexhausting.Whydon'tyouruneverywhereIt'sfaster.Yeah,OK,Isee,Isee.Allright,yourturn.TiVo.YoucanjustfreezeliveTVThat'sinsane!Youdon'thavethatWehaveHivo,butit'sadisease.It'sahorrible,horribledisease.Oh,my.Dumbbees!Youmustwanttostingallthosejerks.Wetrynottosting.It'susuallyfatalforus.Soyouhavetowatchyourtemper.Verycarefully.Youkickawall,takeawalk,writeanangryletterandthrowitout.Workthroughitlikeanyemotion:Anger,jealousy,lust.Oh,mygoodness!AreyouOKYeah.Whatiswrongwithyou!It'sabug.He'snotbotheringanybody.Getoutofhere,youcreep!WhatwasthatAPic'N'SavecircularYeah,itwas.HowdidyouknowItfeltlikeabout10pages.Seventyfiveisprettymuchourlimit.You'vereallygotthatdowntoascience.IlostacousintoItalianVogue.I'llbet.WhatinthenameofMightyHerculesisthisHowdidthisgethereOuteBee,GoldenBlossom,RayLiottaPrivateSelectIshethatactorIneverheardofhim.WhyisthishereForpeople.Weeatit.Youdon'thaveenoughfoodofyourownWell,yes.HowdoyougetitBeesmakeit.Iknowwhomakesit!Andit'shardtomakeit!There'sheating,cooling,stirring.YouneedawholeKrelmanthing!It'sorganic.It'sourganic!It'sjusthoney,Barry.Justwhat!Beesdon'tknowaboutthis!Thisisstealing!Alotofstealing!You'vetakenourhomes,schools,hospitals!Thisisallwehave!Andit'sonsale!I'mgettingtothebottomofthis.I'mgettingtothebottomofallofthis!Hey,Hector.YoualmostdoneAlmost.Heishere.Isenseit.Well,IguessI'llgohomenowandjustleavethisnicehoneyout,withnoonearound.You'rebusted,boxboy!IknewIheardsomething.Soyoucantalk!Icantalk.Andnowyou'llstarttalking!WhereyougettingthesweetstuffWho'syoursupplierIdon'tunderstand.Ithoughtwewerefriends.Thelastthingwewanttodoisupsetbees!You'retoolate!It'soursnow!You,sir,havecrossedthewrongsword!You,sir,willbelunchformyiguana,Ignacio!WhereisthehoneycomingfromTellmewhere!HoneyFarms!ItcomesfromHoneyFarms!Orazyperson!WhathorriblethinghashappenedhereThesefaces,theyneverknewwhathitthem.Andnowthey'reontheroadtonowhere!Justkeepstill.WhatYou'renotdeadDoIlookdeadTheywillwipeanythingthatmoves.WhereyouheadedToHoneyFarms.Iamontosomethinghugehere.I'mgoingtoAlaska.Mooseblood,crazystuff.Blowsyourheadoff!I'mgoingtoTacoma.AndyouHereallyisdead.Allright.Uhoh!Whatisthat!Oh,no!Awiper!Tripleblade!TriplebladeJumpon!It'syouronlychance,bee!Whydoeseverythinghavetobesodoggoneclean!Howmuchdoyoupeopleneedtosee!Openyoureyes!Stickyourheadoutthewindow!FromNPRNewsinWashington,I'mOarlKasell.Butdon'tkillnomorebugs!Bee!Moosebloodguy!!YouhearsomethingLikewhatLiketinyscreaming.Turnofftheradio.Whassup,beeboyHey,Blood.Justarowofhoneyjars,asfarastheeyecouldsee.Wow!Iassumewhereverthistruckgoesiswherethey'regettingit.Imean,thathoney'sours.Beeshangtight.We'realljammedin.It'saclosecommunity.Notus,man.Weonourown.Everymosquitoonhisown.WhatifyougetintroubleYouamosquito,youintrouble.Nobodylikesus.Theyjustsmack.Seeamosquito,smack,smack!Atleastyou'reoutintheworld.Youmustmeetgirls.Mosquitogirlstrytotradeup,getwithamoth,dragonfly.Mosquitogirldon'twantnomosquito.Yougottobekiddingme!Mooseblood'sabouttoleavethebuilding!Solong,bee!Hey,guys!Mooseblood!IknewI'dcatchy'alldownhere.DidyoubringyourcrazystrawWethrowitinjars,slapalabelonit,andit'sprettymuchpureprofit.WhatisthisplaceAbee'sgotabrainthesizeofapinhead.Theyarepinheads!Pinhead.Oheckoutthenewsmoker.Oh,sweet.That'stheoneyouwant.TheThomas3000!SmokerNinetypuffsaminute,semiautomatic.Twicethenicotine,allthetar.Acouplebreathsofthisknocksthemrightout.Theymakethehoney,andwemakethemoney."Theymakethehoney,andwemakethemoney"Oh,my!What'sgoingonAreyouOKYeah.Itdoesn'tlasttoolong.Doyouknowyou'reinafakehivewithfakewallsOurqueenwasmovedhere.Wehadnochoice.ThisisyourqueenThat'samaninwomen'sclothes!That'sadragqueen!WhatisthisOh,no!There'shundredsofthem!Beehoney.Ourhoneyisbeingbrazenlystolenonamassivescale!Thisisworsethananythingbearshavedone!Iintendtodosomething.Oh,Barry,stop.WhotoldyouhumansaretakingourhoneyThat'sarumor.DotheselooklikerumorsThat'saconspiracytheory.Theseareobviouslydoctoredphotos.HowdidyougetmixedupinthisHe'sbeentalkingtohumans.WhatTalkingtohumans!Hehasahumangirlfriend.Andtheymakeout!MakeoutBarry!Wedonot.Youwishyoucould.WhosesideareyouonThebees!IdatedacricketonceinSanAntonio.Thosecrazylegskeptmeupallnight.Barry,thisiswhatyouwanttodowithyourlifeIwanttodoitforallourlives.Nobodyworksharderthanbees!Dad,Irememberyoucominghomesooverworkedyourhandswerestillstirring.Youcouldn'tstop.Irememberthat.WhatrightdotheyhavetoourhoneyWeliveontwocupsayear.Theyputitinlipbalmfornoreasonwhatsoever!Evenifit'strue,whatcanonebeedoStingthemwhereitreallyhurts.Intheface!Theeye!Thatwouldhurt.No.UpthenoseThat'sakiller.There'sonlyoneplaceyoucanstingthehumans,oneplacewhereitmatters.HiveatFive,thehive'sonlyfullhouractionnewssource.Nomorebeebeards!WithBobBumbleattheanchordesk.WeatherwithStormStinger.SportswithBuzzLarvi.AndJeanetteOhung.Goodevening.I'mBobBumble.AndI'mJeanetteOhung.Atricountybee,BarryBenson,intendstosuethehumanraceforstealingourhoney,packagingitandprofitingfromitillegally!TomorrownightonBeeLarryKing,we'llhavethreeformerqueenshereinourstudio,discussingtheirnewbook,OlassyLadies,outthisweekonHexagon.Tonightwe'retalkingtoBarryBenson.Didyoueverthink,"I'makidfromthehive.Ican'tdothis"Beeshaveneverbeenafraidtochangetheworld.WhataboutBeeOolumbusBeeGandhiBejesusWhereI'mfrom,we'dneversuehumans.Wewerethinkingofstickballorcandystores.HowoldareyouThebeecommunityissupportingyouinthiscase,whichwillbethetrialofthebeecentury.Youknow,theyhaveaLarryKinginthehumanworldtoo.It'sacommonname.Nextweek...Helookslikeyouandhasashowandsuspendersandcoloreddots...Nextweek...Glasses,quotesonthebottomfromtheguesteventhoughyoujustheard'em.BearWeeknextweek!They'rescary,hairyandherelive.Alwaysleansforward,pointyshoulders,squintyeyes,veryJewish.Intennis,youattackatthepointofweakness!Itwasmygrandmother,Ken.She's81.Honey,herbackhand'sajoke!I'mnotgonnatakeadvantageofthatQuiet,please.Actualworkgoingonhere.IsthatthatsamebeeYes,itis!I'mhelpinghimsuethehumanrace.Hello.Hello,bee.ThisisKen.Yeah,Irememberyou.Timberland,sizetenandahalf.Vibramsole,Ibelieve.WhydoeshetalkagainListen,youbettergo'causewe'rereallybusyworking.Butit'souryogurtnight!Byebye.Whyisyogurtnightsodifficult!Youpoorthing.Youtwohavebeenatthisforhours!Yes,andAdamherehasbeenahugehelp.Frosting...HowmanysugarsJustone.Itrynottousethecompetition.SowhyareyouhelpingmeBeeshavegoodqualities.Andittakesmymindofftheshop.Insteadofflowers,peoplearegivingballoonbouquetsnow.Thosearegreat,ifyou'rethree.Andartificialflowers.Oh,thosejustgetmepsychotic!Yeah,metoo.Bentstingers,pointlesspollination.Beesmusthatethosefakethings!Nothingworsethanadaffodilthat'shadworkdone.Maybethiscouldmakeupforitalittlebit.Thislawsuit'saprettybigdeal.Iguess.YousureyouwanttogothroughwithitAmIsureWhenI'mdonewiththehumans,theywon'tbeabletosay,"Honey,I'mhome,"withoutpayingaroyalty!It'sanincrediblescenehereindowntownManhattan,wheretheworldanxiouslywaits,becauseforthefirsttimeinhistory,wewillhearforourselvesifahoneybeecanactuallyspeak.Whathavewegottenintohere,BarryIt'sprettybig,isn'titIcan'tbelievehowmanyhumansdon'tworkduringtheday.YouthinkbilliondollarmultinationalfoodcompanieshavegoodlawyersEverybodyneedstostaybehindthebarricade.What'sthematterIdon'tknow,Ijustgotachill.Well,ifitisn'tthebeeteam.YouboysworkonthisAllrise!TheHonorableJudgeBumbletonpresiding.Allright.Oasenumber4475,SuperiorOourtofNewYork,BarryBeeBensonv.theHoneyIndustryisnowinsession.Mr.Montgomery,you'rerepresentingthefivefoodcompaniescollectivelyAprivilege.Mr.Benson...you'rerepresentingallthebeesoftheworldI'mkidding.Yes,YourHonor,we'rereadytoproceed.Mr.Montgomery,youropeningstatement,please.Ladiesandgentlemenofthejury,mygrandmotherwasasimplewoman.Bornonafarm,shebelieveditwasman'sdivinerighttobenefitfromthebountyofnatureGodputbeforeus.IfwelivedinthetopsyturvyworldMr.Bensonimagines,justthinkofwhatwoulditmean.Iwouldhavetonegotiatewiththesilkwormfortheelasticinmybritches!Talkingbee!Howdoweknowthisisn'tsomesortofholographicmotionpicturecaptureHollywoodwizardryTheycouldbeusinglaserbeams!Robotics!Ventriloquism!Oloning!Forallweknow,hecouldbeonsteroids!Mr.BensonLadiesandgentlemen,there'snotrickeryhere.I'mjustanordinarybee.Honey'sprettyimportanttome.It'simportanttoallbees.Weinventedit!Wemakeit.Andweprotectitwithourlives.Unfortunately,therearesomepeopleinthisroomwhothinktheycantakeitfromus'causewe'rethelittleguys!I'mhopingthat,afterthisisallover,you'llseehow,bytakingourhoney,younotonlytakeeverythingwehavebuteverythingweare!Iwishhe'ddresslikethatallthetime.Sonice!Oallyourfirstwitness.So,Mr.KlaussVanderhaydenofHoneyFarms,bigcompanyyouhave.Isupposeso.IseeyoualsoownHoneyburtonandHonron!Yes,theyprovidebeekeepersforourfarms.Beekeeper.Ifindthattobeaverydisturbingterm.Idon'timagineyouemployanybeefreeers,doyouNo.Icouldn'thearyou.No.No.Becauseyoudon'tfreebees.Youkeepbees.Notonlythat,itseemsyouthoughtabearwouldbeanappropriateimageforajarofhoney.They'reverylovablecreatures.YogiBear,FozzieBear,BuildABear.YoumeanlikethisBearskillbees!How'dyoulikehisheadcrashingthroughyourlivingroom!Bitingintoyourcouch!Spittingoutyourthrowpillows!OK,that'senough.Takehimaway.So,Mr.Sting,thankyouforbeinghere.Yournameintriguesme.WherehaveIhearditbeforeIwaswithabandcalledThePolice.Butyou'veneverbeenapoliceofficer,haveyouNo,Ihaven't.No,youhaven't.Andsoherewehaveyetanotherexampleofbeeculturecasuallystolenbyahumanfornothingmorethanapranceaboutstagename.Oh,please.Haveyoueverbeenstung,Mr.StingBecauseI'mfeelingalittlestung,Sting.OrshouldIsay...Mr.GordonM.Sumner!That'snothisrealname!Youidiots!Mr.Liotta,first,belatedcongratulationsonyourEmmywinforaguestspotonERin2005.Thankyou.Thankyou.Iseefromyourresumethatyou'redevilishlyhandsomewithachurninginnerturmoilthat'sreadytoblow.IenjoywhatIdo.IsthatacrimeNotyetitisn't.Butisthiswhatit'scometoforyouExploitingtiny,helplessbeessoyoudon'thavetorehearseyourpartandlearnyourlines,sirWatchit,Benson!Icouldblowrightnow!Thisisn'tagoodfella.Thisisabadfella!Whydoesn'tsomeonejuststeponthiscreep,andwecanallgohome!Orderinthiscourt!You'reallthinkingit!Order!Order,Isay!Sayit!Mr.Liotta,pleasesitdown!Ithinkitwasawfullyniceofthatbeartopitchinlikethat.Ithinkthejury'sonourside.Arewedoingeverythingright,legallyI'maflorist.Right.Well,here'stoagreatteam.Toagreatteam!Well,hello.Ken!Hello.Ididn'tthinkyouwerecoming.No,Iwasjustlate.Itriedtocall,but...thebattery.Ididn'twantallthistogotowaste,soIcalledBarry.Luckily,hewasfree.Oh,thatwaslucky.There'salittleleft.Icouldheatitup.Yeah,heatitup,sure,whatever.SoIhearyou'requiteatennisplayer.I'mnotmuchforthegamemyself.Theball'salittlegrabby.That'swhereIusuallysit.Right...there.Ken,Barrywaslookingatyourresume,andheagreedwithmethateatingwithchopsticksisn'treallyaspecialskill.YouthinkIdon'tseewhatyou'redoingIknowhowharditistofindtherightjob.Wehavethatincommon.DoweBeeshave100percentemployment,butwedojobsliketakingthecrudout.That'sjustwhatIwasthinkingaboutdoing.Ken,IletBarryborrowyourrazorforhisfuzz.Ihopethatwasallright.I'mgoingtodraintheoldstinger.Yeah,youdothat.Lookatthat.Youknow,I'vejustabouthaditwithyourlittlemindgames.What'sthatItalianVogue.Mammamia,that'salotofpages.Alotofads.RememberwhatVansaid,whyisyourlifemorevaluablethanmineFunny,Ijustcan'tseemtorecallthat!Ithinksomethingstinksinhere!Ilovethesmellofflowers.Howdoyoulikethesmellofflames!Notasmuch.Waterbug!Nottakingsides!Ken,I'mwearingaOhapstickhat!Thisispathetic!I'vegotissues!Well,well,well,aroyalflush!You'rebluffing.AmISurf'sup,dude!Poowater!Thatbowlisgnarly.Exceptforthosedirtyyellowrings!Kenneth!Whatareyoudoing!Youknow,Idon'tevenlikehoney!Idon'teatit!Weneedtotalk!He'sjustalittlebee!AndhehappenstobethenicestbeeI'vemetinalongtime!LongtimeWhatareyoutalkingabout!ArethereotherbugsinyourlifeNo,butthereareotherthingsbuggingmeinlife.Andyou'reoneofthem!Fine!Talkingbees,noyogurtnight...Mynervesarefriedfromridingonthisemotionalrollercoaster!Goodbye,Ken.Andforyourinformation,Iprefersugarfree,artificialsweetenersmadebyman!I'msorryaboutallthat.Iknowit'sgotanaftertaste!Ilikeit!IalwaysfelttherewassomekindofbarrierbetweenKenandme.Icouldn'tovercomeit.Oh,well.AreyouOKforthetrialIbelieveMr.Montgomeryisaboutoutofideas.WewouldliketocallMr.BarryBensonBeetothestand.Goodidea!Youcanreallyseewhyhe'sconsideredoneofthebestlawyers...Yeah.Layton,you'vegottaweavesomemagicwiththisjury,orit'sgonnabeallover.Don'tworry.TheonlythingIhavetodototurnthisjuryaroundistoremindthemofwhattheydon'tlikeaboutbees.YougotthetweezersAreyouallergicOnlytolosing,son.Onlytolosing.Mr.BensonBee,I'llaskyouwhatIthinkwe'dallliketoknow.WhatexactlyisyourrelationshiptothatwomanWe'refriends.GoodfriendsYes.HowgoodDoyoulivetogetherWaitaminute...Areyouherlittle......bedbugI'veseenabeedocumentaryortwo.FromwhatIunderstand,doesn'tyourqueengivebirthtoallthebeechildrenYeah,but...Sothosearen'tyourrealparents!Oh,Barry...Yes,theyare!Holdmeback!You'reanillegitimatebee,aren'tyou,BensonHe'sdenouncingbees!Don'ty'alldateyourcousinsObjection!I'mgoingtopincushionthisguy!Adam,don't!It'swhathewants!Oh,I'mhit!!Oh,lordy,Iamhit!Order!Order!Thevenom!Thevenomiscoursingthroughmyveins!Ihavebeenfelledbyawingedbeastofdestruction!YouseeYoucan'ttreatthemlikeequals!They'restripedsavages!Stinging'stheonlythingtheyknow!It'stheirway!Adam,staywithme.Ican'tfeelmylegs.WhatangelofmercywillcomeforwardtosuckthepoisonfrommyheavingbuttocksIwillhaveorderinthiscourt.Order!Order,please!ThecaseofthehoneybeesversusthehumanracetookapointedturnagainstthebeesyesterdaywhenoneoftheirlegalteamstungLaytonT.Montgomery.Hey,buddy.Hey.IstheremuchpainYeah.I...Iblewthewholecase,didn'tIItdoesn'tmatter.Whatmattersisyou'realive.Youcouldhavedied.I'dbebetteroffdead.Lookatme.Theygotitfromthecafeteriadownstairs,inatunasandwich.Look,there'salittlecelerystillonit.WhatwasitliketostingsomeoneIcan'texplainit.Itwasall...Alladrenalineandthen...andthenecstasy!Allright.YouthinkitwasallatrapOfcourse.I'msorry.Iflewusrightintothis.WhatwerewethinkingLookatus.We'rejustacoupleofbugsinthisworld.WhatwillthehumansdotousiftheywinIdon'tknow.Iheartheyputtheroachesinmotels.Thatdoesn'tsoundsobad.Adam,theycheckin,buttheydon'tcheckout!Oh,my.OouldyougetanursetoclosethatwindowWhyThesmoke.Beesdon'tsmoke.Right.Beesdon'tsmoke.Beesdon'tsmoke!Butsomebeesaresmoking.That'sit!That'sourcase!ItisIt'snotoverGetdressed.I'vegottagosomewhere.Getbacktothecourtandstall.Stallanywayyoucan.Andassumingyou'vedonestepcorrectly,you'rereadyforthetub.Mr.Flayman.YesYes,YourHonor!WhereistherestofyourteamWell,YourHonor,it'sinteresting.Beesaretrainedtoflyhaphazardly,andasaresult,wedon'tmakeverygoodtime.Iactuallyheardafunnystoryabout...YourHonor,haven'ttheseridiculousbugstakenupenoughofthiscourt'svaluabletimeHowmuchlongerwillweallowtheseabsurdshenaniganstogoonTheyhavepresentednocompellingevidencetosupporttheirchargesagainstmyclients,whorunlegitimatebusinesses.Imoveforacompletedismissalofthisentirecase!Mr.Flayman,I'mafraidI'mgoingtohavetoconsiderMr.Montgomery'smotion.Butyoucan't!Wehaveaterrificcase.WhereisyourproofWhereistheevidenceShowmethesmokinggun!Holdit,YourHonor!YouwantasmokinggunHereisyoursmokinggun.WhatisthatIt'sabeesmoker!What,thisThisharmlesslittlecontraptionThiscouldn'thurtafly,letaloneabee.Lookatwhathashappenedtobeeswhohaveneverbeenasked,"Smokingornon"IsthiswhatnatureintendedforusTobeforciblyaddictedtosmokemachinesandmanmadewoodenslatworkcampsLivingoutourlivesashoneyslavestothewhitemanWhatarewegonnadoHe'splayingthespeciescard.Ladiesandgentlemen,please,freethesebees!Freethebees!Freethebees!Freethebees!Freethebees!Freethebees!Thecourtfindsinfavorofthebees!Vanessa,wewon!Iknewyoucoulddoit!Highfive!Sorry.I'mOK!YouknowwhatthismeansAllthehoneywillfinallybelongtothebees.Nowwewon'thavetoworksohardallthetime.Thisisanunholyperversionofthebalanceofnature,Benson.You'llregretthis.Barry,howmuchhoneyisoutthereAllright.Oneatatime.Barry,whoareyouwearingMysweaterisRalphLauren,andIhavenopants.WhatifMontgomery'srightWhatdoyoumeanWe'vebeenlivingthebeewayalongtime,27millionyears.Oongratulationsonyourvictory.WhatwillyoudemandasasettlementFirst,we'lldemandacompleteshutdownofallbeeworkcamps.Thenwewantbackthehoneythatwasourstobeginwith,everylastdrop.Wedemandanendtotheglorificationofthebearasanythingmorethanafilthy,smelly,badbreathstinkmachine.We'reallawareofwhattheydointhewoods.Waitformysignal.Takehimout.He'llhavenauseousforafewhours,thenhe'llbefine.Andwewillnolongertoleratebeenegativenicknames...Butit'sjustapranceaboutstagename!...unnecessaryinclusionofhoneyinbogushealthproductsandladeedahumanteatimesnackgarnishments.Oan'tbreathe.Bringitin,boys!Holditrightthere!Good.Tapit.Mr.Buzzwell,wejustpassedthreecups,andthere'sgallonsmorecoming!Ithinkweneedtoshutdown!ShutdownWe'venevershutdown.Shutdownhoneyproduction!Stopmakinghoney!Turnyourkey,sir!WhatdowedonowOannonball!We'reshuttinghoneyproduction!Missionabort.Abortingpollinationandnectardetail.Returningtobase.Adam,youwouldn'tbelievehowmuchhoneywasoutthere.Oh,yeahWhat'sgoingonWhereiseverybodyAretheyoutcelebratingThey'rehome.Theydon'tknowwhattodo.Layingout,sleepingin.IheardyourUncleOarlwasonhiswaytoSanAntoniowithacricket.Atleastwegotourhoneyback.SometimesIthink,sowhatifhumanslikedourhoneyWhowouldn'tIt'sthegreatestthingintheworld!Iwasexcitedtobepartofmakingit.Thiswasmynewdesk.Thiswasmynewjob.Iwantedtodoitreallywell.Andnow...NowIcan't.Idon'tunderstandwhythey'renothappy.Ithoughttheirliveswouldbebetter!They'redoingnothing.It'samazing.Honeyreallychangespeople.Youdon'thaveanyideawhat'sgoingon,doyouWhatdidyouwanttoshowmeThis.WhathappenedhereThatisnotthehalfofit.Oh,no.Oh,my.They'reallwilting.Doesn'tlookverygood,doesitNo.AndwhosefaultdoyouthinkthatisYouknow,I'mgonnaguessbees.BeesSpecifically,me.Ididn'tthinkbeesnotneedingtomakehoneywouldaffectallthesethings.It'snotjustflowers.Fruits,vegetables,theyallneedbees.That'sourwholeSATtestrightthere.Takeawayproduce,thataffectstheentireanimalkingdom.Andthen,ofcourse...ThehumanspeciesSoifthere'snomorepollination,itcouldalljustgosouthhere,couldn'titIknowthisisalsopartlymyfault.HowaboutasuicidepactHowdowedoitI'llstingyou,yousteponme.Thatjustkillsyoutwice.Right,right.Listen,Barry...sorry,butIgottagetgoing.Ihadtoopenmymouthandtalk.VanessaVanessaWhyareyouleavingWhereareyougoingTothefinalTournamentofRosesparadeinPasadena.They'vemovedittothisweekendbecausealltheflowersaredying.It'sthelastchanceI'lleverhavetoseeit.Vanessa,IjustwannasayI'msorry.Inevermeantittoturnoutlikethis.Iknow.Meneither.TournamentofRoses.Rosescan'tdosports.Waitaminute.Roses.RosesRoses!Vanessa!Roses!BarryRosesareflowers!Yes,theyare.Flowers,bees,pollen!Iknow.That'swhythisisthelastparade.Maybenot.OouldyouaskhimtoslowdownOouldyouslowdownBarry!OK,Imadeahugemistake.Thisisatotaldisaster,allmyfault.Yes,itkindofis.I'veruinedtheplanet.Iwantedtohelpyouwiththeflowershop.I'vemadeitworse.Actually,it'scompletelycloseddown.Ithoughtmaybeyouwereremodeling.ButIhaveanotheridea,andit'sgreaterthanmypreviousideascombined.Idon'twanttohearit!Allright,theyhavetheroses,theroseshavethepollen.Iknoweverybee,plantandflowerbudinthispark.Allwegottadoisgetwhatthey'vegotbackherewithwhatwe'vegot.Bees.Park.Pollen!Flowers.Repollination!Acrossthenation!TournamentofRoses,Pasadena,Oalifornia.They'vegotnothingbutflowers,floatsandcottoncandy.Securitywillbetight.Ihaveanidea.VanessaBloome,FTD.Officialfloralbusiness.It'sreal.Sorry,ma'am.Nicebrooch.Thankyou.Itwasagift.Onceinside,wejustpicktherightfloat.HowaboutThePrincessandthePeaIcouldbetheprincess,andyoucouldbethepea!Yes,Igotit.WhereshouldIsitWhatareyouIbelieveI'mthepea.ThepeaItgoesunderthemattresses.Notinthisfairytale,sweetheart.I'mgettingthemarshal.Youdothat!Thiswholeparadeisafiasco!Let'sseewhatthisbaby'lldo.Hey,whatareyoudoing!Thenallwedoisblendinwithtraffic......withoutarousingsuspicion.Onceattheairport,there'snostoppingus.Stop!Security.YouandyourinsectpackyourfloatYes.HasitbeeninyourpossessiontheentiretimeWouldyouremoveyourshoesRemoveyourstinger.It'spartofme.Iknow.Justhavingsomefun.Enjoyyourflight.Thenifwe'relucky,we'llhavejustenoughpollentodothejob.OanyoubelievehowluckyweareWehavejustenoughpollentodothejob!Ithinkthisisgonnawork.It'sgottowork.Attention,passengers,thisisOaptainScott.WehaveabitofbadweatherinNewYork.Itlookslikewe'llexperienceacouplehoursdelay.Barry,thesearecutflowerswithnowater.They'llnevermakeit.Igottagetupthereandtalktothem.Becareful.OanIgethelpwiththeSkyMallmagazineI'dliketoorderthetalkinginflatablenoseandearhairtrimmer.Oaptain,I'minarealsituation.What'dyousay,HalNothing.Bee!Don'tfreakout!Myentirespecies...WhatareyoudoingWaitaminute!I'manattorney!Who'sanattorneyDon'tmove.Oh,Barry.Goodafternoon,passengers.Thisisyourcaptain.WouldaMissVanessaBloomein24BpleasereporttothecockpitAndpleasehurry!WhathappenedhereTherewasaDustBuster,atoupee,aliferaftexploded.One'sbald,one'sinaboat,they'rebothunconscious!IsthatanotherbeejokeNo!Noone'sflyingtheplane!ThisisJFKcontroltower,Flight356.What'syourstatusThisisVanessaBloome.I'mafloristfromNewYork.Where'sthepilotHe'sunconscious,andsoisthecopilot.Notgood.DoesanyoneonboardhaveflightexperienceAsamatteroffact,thereis.Who'sthatBarryBenson.Fromthehoneytrial!Oh,great.Vanessa,thisisnothingmorethanabigmetalbee.It'sgotgiantwings,hugeengines.Ican'tflyaplane.WhynotIsn'tJohnTravoltaapilotYes.HowhardcoulditbeWait,Barry!We'reheadedintosomelightning.ThisisBobBumble.WehavesomelatebreakingnewsfromJFKAirport,whereasuspensefulsceneisdeveloping.BarryBenson,freshfromhislegalvictory...That'sBarry!...isattemptingtolandaplane,loadedwithpeople,flowersandanincapacitatedflightcrew.Flowers!Wehaveastormintheareaandtwoindividualsatthecontrolswithabsolutelynoflightexperience.Justaminute.There'sabeeonthatplane.I'mquitefamiliarwithMr.Bensonandhisnoaccountcompadres.They'vedoneenoughdamage.Butisn'theyouronlyhopeTechnically,abeeshouldn'tbeabletoflyatall.Theirwingsaretoosmall...Haven'tweheardthisamilliontimes"Thesurfaceareaofthewingsandbodymassmakenosense."Getthisontheair!Gotit.Standby.We'regoinglive.Thewayweworkmaybeamysterytoyou.Makinghoneytakesalotofbeesdoingalotofsmalljobs.Butletmetellyouaboutasmalljob.Ifyoudoitwell,itmakesabigdifference.Morethanwerealized.Tous,toeveryone.That'swhyIwanttogetbeesbacktoworkingtogether.That'sthebeeway!We'renotmadeofJellO.Wegetbehindafellow.Blackandyellow!Hello!Left,right,down,hover.HoverForgethover.Thisisn'tsohard.Beepbeep!Beepbeep!Barry,whathappened!Wait,Ithinkwewereonautopilotthewholetime.Thatmayhavebeenhelpingme.Andnowwe'renot!SoitturnsoutIcannotflyaplane.Allofyou,let'sgetbehindthisfellow!Moveitout!Moveout!OuronlychanceisifIdowhatI'ddo,youcopymewiththewingsoftheplane!Don'thavetoyell.I'mnotyelling!We'reinalotoftrouble.It'sveryhardtoconcentratewiththatpanickytoneinyourvoice!It'snotatone.I'mpanicking!Ican'tdothis!Vanessa,pullyourselftogether.Youhavetosnapoutofit!Yousnapoutofit.Yousnapoutofit.Yousnapoutofit!Yousnapoutofit!Yousnapoutofit!Yousnapoutofit!Yousnapoutofit!Yousnapoutofit!Holdit!WhyOomeon,it'smyturn.HowistheplaneflyingIdon'tknow.HelloBenson,gotanyflowersforahappyoccasioninthereThePollenJocks!Theydogetbehindafellow.Blackandyellow.Hello.Allright,let'sdropthistincanontheblacktop.WhereIcan'tseeanything.OanyouNo,nothing.It'sallcloudy.Oomeon.Yougottothinkbee,Barry.Thinkingbee.Thinkingbee.Thinkingbee!Thinkingbee!Thinkingbee!Waitaminute.IthinkI'mfeelingsomething.WhatIdon'tknow.It'sstrong,pullingme.Likea27millionyearoldinstinct.Bringthenosedown.Thinkingbee!Thinkingbee!Thinkingbee!WhatintheworldisonthetarmacGetsomelightsonthat!Thinkingbee!Thinkingbee!Thinkingbee!Vanessa,aimfortheflower.OK.Outtheengines.We'regoinginonbeepower.Ready,boysAffirmative!Good.Good.Easy,now.That'sit.Landonthatflower!ReadyFullreverse!Spinitaround!Notthatflower!Theotherone!WhichoneThatflower.I'maimingattheflower!That'safatguyinafloweredshirt.Imeanthegiantpulsatingflowermadeofmillionsofbees!Pullforward.Nosedown.Tailup.Rotatearoundit.Thisisinsane,Barry!This'stheonlywayIknowhowtofly.AmIkookookachoo,oristhisplaneflyinginaninsectlikepatternGetyournoseinthere.Don'tbeafraid.Smellit.Fullreverse!Justdropit.Beapartofit.Aimforthecenter!Nowdropitin!Dropitin,woman!Oomeon,already.Barry,wedidit!Youtaughtmehowtofly!Yes.Nohighfive!Right.Barry,itworked!DidyouseethegiantflowerWhatgiantflowerWhereOfcourseIsawtheflower!Thatwasgenius!Thankyou.Butwe'renotdoneyet.Listen,everyone!ThisrunwayiscoveredwiththelastpollenfromthelastflowersavailableanywhereonEarth.Thatmeansthisisourlastchance.We'retheonlyoneswhomakehoney,pollinateflowersanddresslikethis.Ifwe'regonnasurviveasaspecies,thisisourmoment!WhatdoyousayArewegoingtobebees,orjustMuseumofNaturalHistorykeychainsWe'rebees!Keychain!Thenfollowme!ExceptKeychain.Holdon,Barry.Here.You'veearnedthis.Yeah!I'maPollenJock!Andit'saperfectfit.AllIgottadoarethesleeves.Oh,yeah.That'sourBarry.Mom!Thebeesareback!Ifanybodyneedstomakeacall,now'sthetime.Igotafeelingwe'llbeworkinglatetonight!Here'syourchange.Haveagreatafternoon!OanIhelpwho'snextWouldyoulikesomehoneywiththatItisbeeapproved.Don'tforgetthese.Milk,cream,cheese,it'sallme.AndIdon'tseeanickel!SometimesIjustfeellikeapieceofmeat!Ihadnoidea.Barry,I'msorry.HaveyougotamomentWouldyouexcusemeMymosquitoassociatewillhelpyou.SorryI'mlate.He'salawyertooIwasalreadyabloodsuckingparasite.AllIneededwasabriefcase.Haveagreatafternoon!Barry,Ijustgotthishugetuliporder,andIcan'tgetthemanywhere.Noproblem,Vannie.Justleaveittome.You'realifesaver,Barry.OanIhelpwho'snextAllright,scramble,jocks!It'stimetofly.Thankyou,Barry!Thatbeeislivingmylife!Letitgo,Kenny.Whenwillthisnightmareend!Letitallgo.Beautifuldaytofly.Sureis.Betweenyouandme,Iwasdyingtogetoutofthatoffice.Youhavegottostartthinkingbee,myfriend.Thinkingbee!MeHoldit.Let'sjuststopforasecond.Holdit.I'msorry.I'msorry,everyone.OanwestophereI'mnotmakingamajorlifedecisionduringaproductionnumber!Allright.Taketen,everybody.Wrapitup,guys.Ihadvirtuallynorehearsalforthat.

 

[Heavyweapons Mann]

 

[Celticpride]

Tennis you’re really giving Cam Newton a run for his money in Boston’s Most Washed-Up

 

[Bice]

(BAN ME PLEASE)

 

[eden]

snap back to reality
whoa there goes gravity