Name one thing that only a father can do for a child that a mother cannot. Name one thing that only a mother can do for a child who is not an infant (in other words, not breastfeeding or giving birth) that a mother can do for a child that a father cannot. I am not saying to name things that a mother typically does or that a father typically does. I'm saying name things that one parent is absolutely unable to do. Name things that are so intrinsically motherly or fatherly that the other parent is simply unable to ever provide those capacities in any way.
My personal experiences suggest that there's a lot of variance family to family. My father did most of the cooking and the cleaning; we was more concerned about the cleanliness of the home than my mother, and he was a radically superior cook (his stuff was excellent; hers was pretty mediocre). When I got older and discussion about sex became appropriate, I seem to recall my mother being more involved in that than my father with me. My father is a firefighter so he was home 2/3 days and then 1/8 of every working day (and that's before you factor in vacations and sick days). He was a very regular presence around the house, and he was the guy you (for most of my younger years at least) depended on to be around. My mother worked in the food industry on the other hand, and she was at work a lot more frequently. While my father did make more money than my mother (the firefighting job is a pretty sweet deal in general if you're into that sort of thing), the way they were around reversed the feel of who was "staying at home" and who was "out providing" relative to the cultural norm.
My parents are both complex people who aren't going to fit any stereotypes for personalities all that well, but if I had to say one was "motherly" and one was "fatherly", I'd definitely reverse them. Both were pretty quick to anger, but my dad would always come by your room later to talk about it and try to make sure everyone was able to forget and forgive. My mom, on the other hand, had a penchant for holding nasty grudges, but as I've become older, it has become clear to me that she wanted to try to make sure my sister and I would be strong enough to look out for ourselves in the future (she's overprotective in other ways though... it's pretty funny). And, well, let's just say that if someone messed with me or my sister enough that parents had to get involved, it wasn't my dad they were likely to be seeing, and my mom wasn't going to go with the intention of having a calm conversation...
Parenting is a complex thing, and I'm not even sure how you are supposed to define success and failure (if a kid is a total screw up, should we come to you with the blame?). What I am sure of is that every family is very, very different, and that the unique circumstances of any family might lead any particular aspect of raising a child to be handled by either parent. There's just no reason two women or two men couldn't raise a child just as well as one man and one woman; the only thing that would be required would be that the adoptive parents were as dedicated to doing a good job raising their kids as an other parents (I see no evidence to the contrary on this one).
Also, here's a fun question to those who might be opposed regardless. Let's pretend that it really is better to have one man and one woman raising you as opposed to two men or two women. Now, what if the choice is between a gay couple adopting or a straight individual? Now the choice might be between having two "moms" or just one. What should be done in that case? What if we look at the way adoptions tend to go and realize that there are more kids who could use adoption than candidate families by a big margin? Would you rather these kids be raised in non-traditional homes or in things that aren't homes at all? It's hard to prove that a set of parents of the same sex causes damage to a child. It's really easy to prove that a life as a ward of the state does. So, for any child for whom only a gay couple wants to adopt them, what is the fantastic proposal to make them have a better life? The laws against the adoption suggest the proposal of "let the state handle them". Is that really what you want?
Your question is easy to answer: It is not about what they can do individually, it is what they can do together. Assignment of household duties has nothing to do with it. In regards to the scenario, Catholic agencies don't adopt out to individuals either. But at least an individual can get married and restore that balance of experiences. Gay couples are already paired and their child will lose out on the experience of a parent. The child will survive of course; you don't get killed simply because you don't have a regular family, but it isn't a model that promotes proper development and perspective regarding the other gender. Being a ward of the state has its own problems, but you don't, as an agency, lower your standards for an insignificant good. Of the few monogamous gay couples there are, even fewer want to adopt.
Together, they have both male and female experiences. Together, one knows how to deal with childbirth and the other one knows what it is like when your wife is going through childbirth. It's about the different experiences they bring to the table as a whole. It is about having a real diversity and not a fake one. A gay "family" isn't diverse, it's two gay men with the gay male experience, wholely ill-equipped to give experiential knowledge on anything like loving people of the other gender, for example.
That's what people aren't getting about marriage. That is what gay activists refuse to get about marriage.
It isn't about two individuals. If it were then it would just be contract law, and no one would care.
But I suppose I mispoke. Even gay activists know marriage isn't the same as contract law. Otherwise they would be content with civil unions. But they aren't, because for them it is about forcing everyone else to view their
choices as normal. I'm sure I've said this and I'm sure it will be ignored again just for another "lol Deck Knight is a bigot pc++ yay" post, but the proclivity to be gay is not a choice. Acting on that proclivity is a choice. Marriage is an act, and in a democracy people get to determine which acts they condone in a civilized society.
I take heat for comparing homosexuality to alcoholism. I think the comparison is perfectly valid. People are genetically predisposed to both and acting on the genetic predisposition has negative long-term health effects. If an alcoholic gets alcohol in their system they are prone to wanting more and more of it. The answer to alcoholism is to keep the alcoholic from drinking alcoholic beverages, not reward them by saying "alcoholism is just another perfectly legitimate lifestyle, people can't help it if they are predisposed to alcohol addiction" and throwing them a beer.
Obviously the point of enforcement is different. It isn't right or sensible to prosecute people for a genetic predisposition. Nor, as I've said before in other places, is it right or sensible to use the police force as the health squad (that's for Liberals like Trans Fat Banning Bloomberg). Most of the dangerous elements of alcoholism come from the beverage itself. In Homosexuality, it's the culture that causes most of the trouble. Stuff like the Folsom Street Fair where SF has people screwing in the streets in broad daylight. The general lack of emphasis on monogamy or long-term relationships. The fakery and fleetingness of serious relationships.
Some have made the specious argument that gay marriage will help fix "gay culture" by giving it a reason to emphasize monogamy. This is erroneous logic, itself defeated by another argument for gay marriage that attacks heterosexuals for their lack of monogamy, as indicated by the divorce rate. [The answer to both, btw. is to get rid of no-fault divorce.] The gay culture is often toxic, and the more politically active the more violent, as observed by some Prop 8 opponents
threatening to burn down churches. LDS churches and the Catholic Churches of course, given that torching down all the protestant black churches would not be "touting diversity," despite the fact the African American vote is undeniably what won it. Since people didn't want to research it earlier (they pretend blacks think every pet cause activists name a "civil right" matters to them):
CNN Prop 8 election results:
This is CNN said:
Vote by Race: Yes-No
Whites (63%): 49-51
African American (10%): 70-30
Latino (18%): 53-47
Asian (6%): 49-51
Other (3%): 51-49
So in other words, it would appear most African Americans, at least in California, don't believe gay marriage to be the most epic civil rights issue to ever face the nation, a few anecdotal detractors aside. Or I suppose you could argue like some Huffington Post
commenters have that blacks are simply stupid people that buy lies that are fed to them.
Either way it doesn't really matter. Gay marriage bans have a perfect record in winning ballot initiatives. Most of the people who support gay marriage don't even have families. Check the CNN election numbers. As age increases, support for Prop 8 increases. In the first brackets, the ONLY Age Group that voted no was 18-29. In the second brackets, 18-24 and 25-29 voted no. Once you hit 30 and have a family, your support for gay marriage seems to disappear.
The Income tables are also interesting. It seems the middle class opposes it while the poorest, probably on welfare of some kind and the super rich who can afford such frivolities support it.
So again, you call 52% of Californians bigots, or call me a bigot, or whatever, but don't pretend you're attacking a bunch of rich pasty WASPS. Rich pasty WASPS are the primary supporters of gay marriage.