events that you forgot if they were either a dream or real life

[Astra]

i was chilling in the school parking lot and i heard music coming from a friend's car so i walked up to it stole her aux and started blasting hustle bones

we don't talk anyone so i'd assume it was in real life but looking back it just doesn't feel real

 

[sb879]

One day in middle school I was talking to my extremely homophobic friend Jeff Daniels (no, not that one). He went on this long rant about how gay people were ruining society, and concluded with, "So that's why homophobia is the only morally correct belief". I stared him dead in the eyes and said, "How can you be homophobic if you live in a home?" He looked at me scared and confused, and walked away. He approached me the next day and said, "Dude, good point", and from that point on he was never homophobic again. We ended up drifting apart though, because he was still very racist. Years later, as I began to pay more attention to politics, I realized this little anecdote would be perfect for addressing homophobia and sought out Jeff to tell his story. But I could not find any trace that he had ever existed. Not on Facebook, in our yearbook, anything. So I'm beginning to think I dreamt this whole thing up?

 

[phoopes]

Last night I had a dream that one of my family members also became a Smogoff mod

When I awoke this morning, Auntie Mortem was a mod

 

[ThatOneSpork]

One time I had woken up and just kinda sat there for a while. While I sat there, I started to get this weird feeling that I can only relate to one other feeling, that one where you stand up after having been sitting down for a while and get light headed. This time it was different though, as 1. I had not stood up yet, and 2. it felt weirder. More like the light headedness was combined with my entire body falling asleep and feeling the pins and needles. Suffice to say, it felt weird as hell.

 

[CaffeineBoost]

So I was running some yard sale when these kids come along. One of them is really interested in this drinking hat so I sold it to him for a fairly ludicrous price. I also sold the other kid a plunger or something. Anyway, later on some proper businessmen inquire about the hat after I've sold it and they offer me way more money for it than what I got from the kid. So what I do is I try to get this hat back from the kids. I tried insulting him, offering him different hats, at one point I even drew a ghost on some paper and used a fishing net to tell the kid he has to give the hat back to its rightful owner. I made up some name, Smitty Werbenjaegersomethingsomething, but the kid bought it. As luck would fucking have it, somebody in the graveyard actually has that fucking name and the kid went and buried the hat in his tomb, so now I've gotta go all the way to the graveyard, look for this guy's grave, dig it up, then take the hat back. I managed to do all of this but then the fucking corpse of Smitty somethingorother animates and tells me to give the hat back! Obviously I didn't comply so a bunch of corpses rose from their graves and tried to take it back from me. I beat them all though so I ran back to these business people telling them I had the hat. Turns out, they just found a fucking warehouse full of the things and now they're worth squat. The kid's got another hat and now *that* hat's the new shit. In the end I couldn't take it and I just curled up in a ball and cried.

 

[BP]

Smitty Werbenjaegersomethingsomething,

When I go fishing there's this tool we use. it's some metal thing from the 50s I think its a can opener. We use it to get a hook out of a fish thats swallowed it. It's called a Smithy Webbermanjenson I think it's from SpongeBob or something. Thanks for reminding me of this.