Discord haxes better than Jesus(Shoddy Battle warstory) Me vs. Choop

[Discord]

Shoddy Battle warstory - Discord vs. Choop

This is my first warstory ever so excuse the shittyness of the quality.

I was randomly challenged by someone named Choop. The name rang a bell, so I had a feeling he knew his pogeymanz. I was sure this was going to be a 6-0 loss for me, again. Little did I know, that affair I had with Lady Luck had an interesting influence on the battle.

Discord's Sexual Haxing Team

Choop's cool team

Note: The only thing here that is in order of appearance are the leads.

Discord+ sent out Aerodactyl
choop sent out Tyranitar

As I started this battle that I could only assume would be 2 minutes in duration, I got a message from my opponent to hasten my move.

choop: hey penis head
choop: move

I knew this was a futile matchup because even CBAero would fail to OHKO Tar, but I knew he thought I was using CBAero, because regular people use CBAero. In futility, I retreated my prehistoric pterodactyl back into it's ball and sent out the pink hermitcrab, Slowbro, while my foe sent out his levitating gas bag Weezing. The match was pretty slow as we switched out from to our staller pokemon. Then as Blissey made it's Icy assault, I switched out to a master of the force, Luke Skywalker. I went for the Aura Sphere because I was assured that I would 3HKO it, but my foe switched out to Weezing once again.

Lucario used Aura Sphere.
It's not very effective.
Weezing lost 45% of its health.

Weezing used Flamethrower.
Lucario lost 72% of its health.

This was a pretty surprising number here. I wanted to use Psychic, and as I selected the move Psychic and confirmed my choice, little did I realize that Luke Skywalker has his pimpglasses on and they restricted him to using his Force Pushing powers. Choop's floating bag of gas unloosed a breath of fire at the powerful Jedi. We were both down to our last bit of health. My foe realized his Weezing was too unhealthy to be of anymore use, so he let my Jedi unloose one more blast of force.

Lucario used Aura Sphere.
It's not very effective.
Weezing lost 43% of it's health.
Choops Weezing fainted.

Discord 6 - Choop 5

Afterwards, it was a battle of reading the enemy's mind to figure out my opportunity to outwit and destroy my enemy. Eventually, I switched the massive stone beast, Tyranitar.

Blissey used Thunderbolt.
Tyranitar lost 16% of it's health.
Discord+'s Tyranitar was paralyzed.
The sandstorm raged.

No more Leftovers recovery could prove advantageous for me because four of my allies are immune to the sandstorm. After seeing the paralysis, I believe my rection was something like this :justin:. Expecting for the overweight medic to retreat in place of a more powerful pokemon, Tyranitar concentrated his mental energies and used Focus Punch on his land shark, Garchomp.

Tyranitar used Focus Punch
Garchomp lost 54% of it's health.

I did a good deal of damage, bringing Garchomps hitpoints to a low area.

His beast attempted to use Dragon Claw on Tyranitar, but little did he know, he would only do a lesser amount of damage on my hermit crab.

Garchomp used Dragon Claw
Slowbro lost 39% of it's health.
(Garchomp took life orb damage)

I switched in Tyranitar while he sent in Blissey and I went for a Focus Punch, only for my enemy to switch in Garchomp and for Focus Punch to do nothing because of paralysis.

Discord+ switched in Slowbro.
Garchomp used Swords Dance.

I thought Slowbro was durable enough to take an SD Garchomp Earthquake, but I guess my guess was incorrect. My foe was aware how much damage Earthquake would do, because he stayed in, probably knowing my Slowbro had 266 Sp.A, being able to KO Garchomp with Ice Beam. It released an Earthquake that sent my hermitcrab Slowbro to it's untimely death.

Garchomp used Earthquake.
Slowbro lost 108% of its health.
Slowbro fainted.
(Garchomp took Life Orb damage)

Choop 5 - Discord 5

In an attempt to deter his Land Shark from inserting it's penis in my pokemon(which incidentally, are mostly female) and raping me, I sent out Aerodactyl getting ready to unleash an Ice Fang to KO Garchomp, but I should've expected the switch and I ended up hitting Metagross for a paltry amount of damage.

Aerodactyl used Ice Fang.
Choop sent out Metagross.
Metagross lost 10% of it's health.
(Aerodactyl takes Life Orb damage)

I gave the order for my prehistoric creature to retreat and I sent out Gliscor.

Discord+ sent out Gliscor
Metagross used Agility

Choop withdrew Metagross
Choop sent out Slowbro.
Gliscor used Earthquake.
Slowbro lost 19% of it's health.

His hermitcrab let out a chilling ray of ice and it hit my Blissey for a very minute amount of damage.

Discord+ withdrew Gliscor.
Discord+ sent out Blissey
Slowbro used Ice Beam.
Blissey lost 9% of it's health.

The battle ended up being a switching battle once again, a boring stally game, until one of the most interesting developments of the game came up.

First, I had to sacrifice my now unhealthy Luke Skywalker to the might of his tyrant stone creature, Tyranitar.

Tyranitar used Stone Edge.
Lucario lost 38% of it's health.
Lucario fainted.

Choop 5 - Discord 4

He is in the lead now. I switched in the pudgy medic, Blissey and started Calm Minding up. He replaced his pudgy medic for his iron beast, Metagross. He used a Meteor Mash that did a load of damage,but I refused to switch out although I could only manage a saddening 43% damage from 2 Thunderbolts.

Metagross used Meteor Mash
Blissey lost 46% of it's health.

Blissey used Thunderbolt.
Metagross lost 26% of it's health.

------------------------------

Metagross used Meteor Mash!
Blissey lost 48% of it's health.

Blissey used Thunderbolt
Metagross lost 27% of it's health.


I expected to lose Blissey here, but banging Lady Luck seemed to be advantageous.

Metagross used Meteor Mash.
Metagross missed.

Blissey used Thunderbolt.
Metagross lost 28% of it's health.
Metagross became paralysed.

Two haxes in one turn? What the fuck? Hurray? I couldn't imagine what my foe Choop was thinking. I invisoned his facial expression being something that looks like this :chaos:.

Blissey unleashed even more Thunderbolts at Metagross, and it attempted to regain it's speed with an Agility. My Blissey attacked his beast one more time with a Thunderbolt to KO Meta. T-Bolt was a 5HKO.

Blissey used Thunderbolt
Metagross lost 28% of it's health.
Metagross used Agility.

Blissey used Thunderbolt
Metagross lost 25% of it's health.
Metagross fainted.


Choop 4 - Discord 4


My enemy expressed his disbelief with some sort of angry chant.

choop: dfsdsafdsafdfs
choop: dsf
choop: fds
choop: d
choop: fs
choop: dsf
choop: dsfa
choop: d
choop: fs
choop: dfs
choop: dfs
choop: d
choop: sf
choop: dsf
choop: dsf

Hmm, I guess he was angry, I dunno.

Choop sent out his stone behemoth Tyranitar. I knew Blissey was no longer useful, it was too weak. I said my farewells to Blissey and thanked it for all it's hax.. I mean help.

Tyranitar used Stone Edge
Blissey lost 70% of it's health.
Blissey fainted.

Choop 4 - Discord 3

He still maintained a lead, gaah! I sent in my prehistoric fossil pokemon and unloosed a tremor that should've done a decent deal of damage to his Tyranitar, but he sent in his hermitcrab, Slowbro.

Choop withdrew Tyranitar
Choop sent out Slowbro
Aerodactyl used Earthquake.
Slowbro lost 23% of it's health.
(Aerodactyl took Life Orb damage)

-----------------------------------

Aerodactyl used Crunch
Super effective
A critical hit
Slowbro lost 70% of its health (It had about 50+%)
Slowbro fainted.

Discord 3 - Choop 3

Hax took down of of his pokemon again.

It ended up being a switch battle agin. Eventually, my Stone beast, Tyranitar, was facing his Land Shark, Garchomp. I switched to Gliscor to take it's fate.

Discord sent out Gliscor
Garchomp used Dragon Claw
Garchomp Missed.

Sand Veil proves to be a useful trait indeed. Gliscor kept wearing down the land shark with repeated tremors, until the Lavender colored orb attached to Garchomp drained what little energy Garchomp had left, fainting it.

Discord 3 - Choop 2

My foe sent out his giant stone creature Tyranitar in the attempt to kill the Fanged Scorpion with a Stoners Edge.

Tyranitar used Stone Edge
Tyranitar missed!

Gliscor used Earthquake
Its super effective
Tyranitar lost 58% of it's health.
Tyranitar fainted.

Discord 3 - Choop 1

My foe seemed to express his anger with yet another chant.

choop: fdsfdsasdfdsaf
choop: sdf
choop: dsaf
choop: dfs
choop: dfs
choop: dfs
choop: dsf

Hax is winning this game for me.

All Choop had left was a fat medic with a lot of remaining stamina. I had 3 weakened and tired pokemon as well. I went for the assault.

Gliscor let loose its tremors once more, while Blissey concentrated all of its mental energies with a Calm Mind. His Blissey continued to concentrate it's mind even more. Then the Fang Scorpion could no longer release any more tremors, so it resorted to slashing the enemy with it's sharp claws. The Fang Scorpion began to do an odd dance that sharpened it's claws making it's power multiply twofold. This is where I used my lucky abilities to take the game away.

Gliscor used Swords Dance!

Blissey used Ice Beam!
Blissey missed.

-------------------------

Gliscor used Aerial Ace
Blissey lost 32% of it's health.

Blissey used Ice Beam
Blissey missed.

-------------------------

Gliscor used Aerial Ace
A critical hit!
Blissey lost 74% of it's health.
Blissey fainted.

Final Result : Discord 3 - Choop 0

Conclusion: I honestly get a lot of lucky games like this, even on WiFi, but before hax handed me a win, it was a pretty good match, and it was fun. Also, I see no point in T-Tar leads, what's so appealing to them?

 

[AlleyViper]

Half tl;dr, half a writing style that I don't really feel suits warstories very well. Stuff like:

His beast attempted to unloose a giant Dragonic slash on my stone beast, but little did he know, he would only do a decent 39% on my hermit crab. Afterwards, after a few turns of switching, his Land Shark danced with blades in its hands, powering up its already massive Attack by two times. It unloosed a massive tremor and shocked my hermitcrab Slowbro to it's untimely death.

I can't stand this stuff. A little embellishment here and there is fine, but not through the entire thing. You use thirty words just to say "Garchomp used Dragon Claw. 39% Damage" Moreover, what happened during those "few turns of switching?" I have no idea what happened, what you were thinking, or what your opponent may have been thinking that led up to Swords Dance. I noticed you used "unloose" rather repetitively.

There's some good stuff there, like

My enemy expressed his disbelief with some sort of angry chant.

choop: dfsdsafdsafdfs
choop: dsf
choop: fds
choop: d
choop: fs
choop: dsf
choop: dsfa
choop: d
choop: fs
choop: dfs
choop: dfs
choop: d
choop: sf
choop: dsf
choop: dsf

But it's just too novel-like and not succinct enough for my tastes.

Tighten it up, and please don't remove turns.

 

[Discord]

Alright, I'll tighten it up, but I only removed turns because it was a ~60 turn battle and a lot of those turns were switching turns.

 

[Pheonix Gamma]

Oi...list all of the turns, dude. Sometimes people want to skip all the chatter and get to the nitty gritty.

 

[VashTheStampede]

I agree with Viper... I think people would rather have Turn: he did this and I did that" instead of a paragraph depicting turns taken. Make's it easier to read, also.

 

[Discord]

Added a lot of extra turns and got rid of a lot more of the chatty stuff.

 

[choop]

Nah don't listen to them it's a cool style and it was a cool battle and you're a cool opponent the only thing that wasn't cool was the hax.

 

[Hipmonlee]

To be honest, I really struggled to follow this.. Pokemon that shouldnt have been out were attacking and I had no idea what was going on..

Have a nice day.

 

[porygon3]

Also, I see no point in T-Tar leads, what's so appealing to them?

Nothing. I'm surprised people are still wasting time by starting with Tyranitar, just so they can get their Sandstorm. Starting with it is an awful idea.

Anyway, why did you keep Blissey in against Metagross?

 

[Discord]

Because I really had no safe switch and I was relying on Serene Grace to help me. 20% para chance and 5 TBolt hits. Also, he didn't really have any special threats left to fuck me over barring Blissey, but I had enough physical attackers to deter it. Also, I was being a little suicidal =)

On the other hand, Hippo leads seem cool.

BTW, how much Accuracy does IB have in Sandstorm on a Sand Veiler? IIRC, it's 80%, but I'm not sure.

 

[BFC]

Nice Warstory you got really lucky on some of those turns especially Bliss vs Meta

 

[ben242000]

I agree with many of the others on listing all the turns. I often just skip past all the bs and read what actually happened during the battle.

 

[Eggwhite]

heh, I was in the front seat for that one.

 

[Masock-TM90]

Mehish. The embellishment annoys me a little (can't you just say what you mean?) but the writing wasn't that bad. I have one question to ask about it though: How do you get the pictures of the Pokémon up front in the beginning?

 

[Eo Ut Mortus]

The embellishment was okay. I disliked it for different reasons than some of the above posters did. It livened up the story, but the problem was you kept repeating the same phrases over and over. We know Slowbro is a hermit crab. You kept repeating the same descriptions for each Pokemon throughout the story, which made it lose their, for lack of a better word, "charm." Once is enough, then it's time to use a different one or just stick with the original name.

Other than that, I enjoyed the story.

 

[JimBob]

Interesting battle, and I do enjoy much of the embellishment, but generally you should only use a description once, _maybe_ twice, and look for more synonyms.

Also, one of the reasons that people write war stories are so that other people can see what is going through their head during the battle, so editing out turns isn't really good for the story, especially if it's turns of switching, because, in my experience, that is where the most prediction takes place.

Still, not a really bad read all in all, but it could have been better.

 

[Rezileen]

Tyranitar used Stone Edge.
Lucario lost 38% of it's health.
Lucario fainted.

Choop 5 - Discord 4

He is in the lead now. I switched in the pudgy medic, Blissey and started Calm Minding up. He replaced his pudgy medic for his iron beast, Metagross. He used a Meteor Mash that did a load of damage,but I refused to switch out although I could only manage a saddening 43% damage from 2 Thunderbolts.

Metagross used Meteor Mash
Blissey lost 46% of it's health.

You lost me here. What happened? You say TTar killed Lucario, then you switched in Blissey? Then somehow he had his own Blissey out instead of TTar and switched it for Metagross? I'm confused....Don't skim through turns like that. It confuses the readers.

 

[Sir Spanky]

I thought it was well written/put together (imo), but it wasn't the ideal match to warstory. Not that close and too haxy tbh.

 

[Masock-TM90]

Can someone answer my question about the pictures?

 

[Hiro]

I personally didn't think it was that hard to follow as long as you read the narration. Good job =)

 

[Blue Ditto]

I haven't done warstories myself, but I like it when they're actually stories--the narration was no problem for me. And it was good that you skipped some unnecessary turns as well. Nice job.

 

[AlleyViper]

Can someone answer my question about the pictures?

When you post, look at the options above the text box. One of them is yellow with a gray mountain. Click it.

 

[Discord]

You don't even have to use the IMG tags, I'm able for some reason to c+p here without img tags.

Thanks for the comments guys.

 

[Boa1891]

Some things look fishy to me...
Blissey took five 25+% moves to kill something. That's weird, I thought 25x4=100... Also, why on earth would someone use Agility when your Blissey has like 6% HP?
Both of these can be explained by your foe being a complete idiot, who has Lefties on Metagross. But, still.
More oddities include "who the fuck would switch TTar away from Blissey, or for that matter, Blissey into TTar", and "How the hell can TTar hit 38% on Lucario, since Metalkid's calc says that Max Attack TTar can only hit up to 32% on 0def/HP IV/EV Lucario with the 4x resisted Stone Edge", "What 'pudgy medic' did he switch out from after he killed Lucario with an impossible Stone Edge"...

All in all, this seems to not only be badly written IMO but a total fabrication. I don't mean to say something so rude, but it's the only excuse I can use to explain the inconsistancy and oddity of this Warstory.

Also, instead of just skipping over all the switching turns, in the future I think you should put it in small print- So people don't get lost if they're following it seriously, and so that people who don't give a shit can skip over it.