User:
macle revolutionized smogon premier leagues with his decision to sponsor his own team this lcpl. While the Guerrilla Goletts are the People's Team who would never sell out, other teams have not been so virtuous.
lets take a look at some of the logos we'll see on team jerseys for the rest of the season.
The Belchsprouts: their sponsorship deal can be found in the link. There's a definite caste system at play here - Kingler12345 spends his days eating the finest curry watching anime while sending Serene's Grace into the mines to build teams and harvest the salt that powers Starmaster's very existence. This team has been fueled by more grievance than the entire GOP, though not without good reason - losing a match to a calculation impossibility and to the snivies for any reason would leave even the most level-headed manager seething with rage. Their salt-mine sponsorship will aid them in filling chats with lines and lines of anger while neglecting to build teams, test them, or arrive on time for fights.
The Crystal Onix:
fleshlite.com (link changed so im not banned). The team named after either a massive dildo or a crack pipe has found an advertiser benefiting its playerbase. As lcpl's most anime-addled team, the Onix have no shortage of waifus between their players. There are many pros to imagining an ideal romantic attachment to a 12-yo 2D character with facial and bodily proportions never seen in real life - she'll always be more attractive than you, be into your autis- er, unique hobbies, and be down for sexual intercourse like 4 times a day. Two problems: 1) if she was real, it would be a crime and 2) 2D characters lack the depth of a real-life vagina. Enter fleshlight. Their premium models can sustain repeated use at a variety of tempos: angry (for when you totally would have won if not for that low roll that put you out of 3hko range on turn 3), happy (for when nineage compliments your memes), and shameful (for when dad comes in to see you're on the pokemon site again). Buy now.
The Stunting Stunkies:
The Catholic Church. this group of alter boys have not made a peep all season, probably the result of Father
Sken 's directive to be seen and not heard. On an unrelated note, here is a movie recommended to me by infamy:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight_(film). I'm not saying there's a reason Vileman currently preaches in South America, but they had to move them somewhere.
The Waterless Wynauts:
No One. This team reached out to representatives for O.J Simpson, Jared Fogle, and ISIS, all of whom declined to sponsor the team, citing the negative impact on their brands as a result of their association.
The Lit AF Litleos:
Petrobras. It's been a rough year for the brazilian political system. Theyve seen a president impeached, unrest in the streets, and dysfunction throughout the country. It has been rough in particular for state oil entity Petrobras, which has had a history of spilling thick black ooze into rivers, animal habitats, etc while making the occasional cameo in corruption trials. There's no better way to redeem your image than sponsorship of a wholesome, drama-free lcpl team. A team with no history of :toxic: behavior, one with two sterling young brazilian lcers:
GOAO and
ggggd. Their conduct has been pristine, their relationships with fellow 12 yo boys such as
Sam-testings to be envied by everyone else in the little cup community.
The Snivy Subterfuge:
ImBlackAndGaySoIt'sOK.com. Have you ever wondered if you were being a (tm) Bad Ally by eating at Chick-fil-a? Have you ever been reprimanded because your Django costume from "Django Unchained" was a little
too accurate? This startup by user:
Jac has your solution. It's an obvious fact that everyone knows that you cannot be considered racist or homophobic if you have a black or gay acquaintance, respectively. For late-stage woke people like such as myself, this isnt a problem - I have many african-american friends with whom i discuss sports such as basketball and breakdancing and many gay friends with whom i discuss fashion and lisps. However, some people are as far as two or three or maybe as far as five miles from a real live black or gay person, which is a lot of effort to be able to call someone "nigga" or a "(BAN ME PLEASE)" on a pocket monsters website. Worry no more. Everyone is within 50 feet of a computer at all times, which is all you need to use this site. Whenever you get into a perilous situation - someone calls you a heinous slur such as "cracker", for instance - you can pull up this site's interface and have a real life black person attest that he is indeed your friend. Need a snappy comeback? Their gay staff will be there for you.
ImBlackAndGaySoIt'sOK.com - never worry about saying that word at karaoke again.
I hope these sponsorship deals provide the influx of cash these other teams need to be able to compete with the Goletts in the rest of the season.