The Real Smog Awards

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Or perhaps it's just the gentlemen. Or just men. Regardless, welcome to the Real Smog Awards, featuring new categories the official records won't include, and with no demographic voting to cloud the results. I, RODAN, will be your host and judge tonight, and I'll be handing out trophies to anyone or anything that deserves a special recognition this year. While these awards may seem controversial and perhaps even malicious, you can be assured that they most likely are and that your opinion means nothing to me. Now let's move onto this year's winners!

Least awesome veteran

Nominations
WaterBomb
Pocket
MrE

The Winner: WaterBomb

WaterBomb has always served as the gold standard of mediocrity ever since he joined the forum one December evening in 2005. This is a user who has never been outright horrible but never quite justified being described as "good," either. By some miracle of the universe, WaterBomb was allowed to moderate the Sports Arena forum, probably because nobody else was willing to do it. Among other things, WaterBomb holds the honor of being the sole user to move one of his own threads into Smogon's Greatest Hits.

These days, WaterBomb is married to a hobbit and is all set to travel to Uganda so he can spread the word of Christ and "explore the world outside The Shire."

Sassiest gay user

Nominations
Crux
MikeDecIsHere
Crux

The Winner: Crux

This is not your standard level of sass; this is above and beyond sass. Crux is the only one deserving of even a nomination for this category. Crux is well known for his argumentative tendencies and throwing out insults. He is the mean type of sassy gay, like Andy Dick and not the "sassy gay friend" type of sassy gay.

Biggest sign of Smogon becoming serebii.net

Nominations
CAP ASB
PS! Suggestion Thread
Introduce Yourself Thread

Winner: CAP ASB

They say the forum is greener on the other side. But this is not the case, as in a site as tight-knit and antiquated such as Smogon, sometimes the floodgates must be opened and new blood must flow into it. This leads to a lot of immature things, and a lot of stupid things (and people). None are as blatantly Serebii-esque as CAP ASB. This forum is an overcomplicated mess for a really stupidly simple premise. It would be like if in order to play soccer, you first had to learn how to make a soccer ball and register every individual play you made in a journal. This entire forum is just a worse version of the Neopets Battledome; just go play that.

Most One-Sided Feud

Nominations
Oglemi vs Faint
MikeDecIsHere vs CaptKirby

Winner: Oglemi vs Faint

It is said if you listen to the wind, you can hear Faint still trying to get Oglemi's attention.

Most Kooky Foreigner

Nominations:
Yilx
Grey_Knight
kael

Winner: kael

kael.

Biggest FUCKING Nerd

Nominations:
Great Sage
Cathy
Jibaku

Winner: Jibaku / Jebaku / Jebali / Jabeki

An upset this time it seems, but not unwarranted. I have observed the Jibaku movements from his days playing Pokémon to his days playing LoL back to his days playing Pokémon. One thing stays the same: this dude memorizes every fucking number for every character and its ridiculous. I also put Jibaku here out of love; I respect him a hell of a lot more than I respect Cathy or Great Sage. They just don't seem like nice people (shocker!). Jibaku, if you're reading this... Will you be my Valentine =]

Best Tier

Nominations
LC
Smogon Doubles
VGC

Winner: VGC

Who doesn't love a tier whose its point requirement to qualify for worlds mean you'll enjoy loads of airline debt well into your retirement? If you've ever wanted to chat with the pro players, just go to the VGC chat on Pokémon Showdown! and beg someone with mods to get voice so you can actually chat. I really wish that we could support VGC well, but it's something that we just aren't good at. In spite of all of this, VGC has a strong presence (at least over three people, I think) on Smogon being headed for years by the humble Tobes, who apparently actually attended a VGC regional once. With the new VGC Leader on Smogon being TheMantyke, a player who has attended multiple VGC events, I for one cannot wait for the Smogon VGC community to get better, but knowing how VGC always ends up, I can only expect it will get worse.

Most Likely to Be Anime IRL

Nominations
sandshrewz
jumpluff
Fishy

Winner: sandshrewz

As it has been well-documented, jumpluff is a mahou shoujo (or magical girl for all you plebeian non-animu watchers) and Fishy has anime_eyes. But on the top of that pedestal is the most subtly anime of all the Smogon users, sandshrewz. Sandz logs on every day, posts a bunch of adorable emoticons, and leaves, which implies that he is a cute loli or something. He is clearly the main love interest of some harem manga somewhere, and it shows in the way he presents himself. The popular boy whom all the girls swoon over who also happens to be rich who also happens to be class president who also happens to be the star of the sports team. That is a sandshrewz.

Biggest Punching Bag

Nominations
LonelyNess
MrE
pookar

Winner: All three

You can't pick a winner here; all three of these users have been well-documented as official Smogon punching bags. Just in different eras.

MrE: 2004-2006
pookar: 2006-2009
LonelyNess: 2009-2014

But even throughout each other's eras, they all stuck to the site and continued to be punched. Surprisingly, they are all still active. Just goes to show you.

And with that, we must conclude our highly reliable and completely unprejudiced awards ceremony for the evening. Particularly so, as we forgot to include dance numbers in the budget. Congratulations to everyone and everything that received a shiny trophy to acknowledge their accomplishments and failures alike. You've all earned them. If you for one reason or another believe you haven't earned them, please direct all complaints to cute user: Birkal. Thank you all and goodnight!

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