sadly my voice-acting skills are not quite up to the standards set by subforum heroes voltage & phoopes. but basically imagine an english accent
-
Welcome to Smogon! Take a moment to read the Introduction to Smogon for a run-down on everything Smogon, and make sure you take some time to read the global rules.
-
Congrats to the winners of the 2023 Smog Awards!
[NPN] ashley's npn blog
- Thread starter BIG ASHLEY
- Start date
day 23
this morning i knocked out a loose plan for an essay (lot of essay content lately. sorry. unfortunately this is due to the fact that i don't actually do anything in the real world and mainly spend my time dancing around academia/looking at reddit) then stared at my laptop screen for about an hour before giving it up as a bad job and listening to rhlstp (rhlstp!) instead.
and then tonight watched a film about anthony hopkins killing his wife (it was called fracture and it had ryan gosling in it too but he had a stupid haircut so i found it difficult to masturbate to him. also my mother was watching with me and that might have been uncomfortable for her). personally, if i had a wife, i would not murder her. i think i would love her and so on. just a personal thing, there.
also, there seems to be some scottish politics stuff going on. unfortunately, since there isn't a cong thread on the subject*, i don't know what to think of it. instead i shall continue my long-standing hobby of looking at pictures of lorna slater on the internet**.
*don't get any fuggin ideas dave i do not wish there to be one
**stanning politicians is bad and should not be done. however,
this morning i knocked out a loose plan for an essay (lot of essay content lately. sorry. unfortunately this is due to the fact that i don't actually do anything in the real world and mainly spend my time dancing around academia/looking at reddit) then stared at my laptop screen for about an hour before giving it up as a bad job and listening to rhlstp (rhlstp!) instead.
and then tonight watched a film about anthony hopkins killing his wife (it was called fracture and it had ryan gosling in it too but he had a stupid haircut so i found it difficult to masturbate to him. also my mother was watching with me and that might have been uncomfortable for her). personally, if i had a wife, i would not murder her. i think i would love her and so on. just a personal thing, there.
also, there seems to be some scottish politics stuff going on. unfortunately, since there isn't a cong thread on the subject*, i don't know what to think of it. instead i shall continue my long-standing hobby of looking at pictures of lorna slater on the internet**.
*don't get any fuggin ideas dave i do not wish there to be one
**stanning politicians is bad and should not be done. however,
i was going to say that that sounds great, but tbh it sounds about as appealing as any other real housewives series
it's is a (the) podcast i listen to! it (usually) stands for richard herring's leicester square theatre podcast
day 24
dear diary. today i plugged rhlstp on smogon. richard herring should pay me i think.
i decided yesterday (suppose this sentence should be in the day 23 entry then) that today i was going to finish (and start) the smallest of my essays, which is a meagre 1000 words. would anyone like to guess how many i managed to squeeze out in actuality?
that's right, it was 26! 26 whole words... i'm a goddess.
i didn't even have fun procrastinating today. i literally sat and stared into space for two hours. literally writing the damned essay would have been more enjoyable.
man.
in non-essay-related news - yes, it is possible to write about such topics - i started thinking about what i am going to buy various family members for christmas, and concluded that because i have no money the answer is probably "bugger-all". ho ho ho!!
dear diary. today i plugged rhlstp on smogon. richard herring should pay me i think.
i decided yesterday (suppose this sentence should be in the day 23 entry then) that today i was going to finish (and start) the smallest of my essays, which is a meagre 1000 words. would anyone like to guess how many i managed to squeeze out in actuality?
that's right, it was 26! 26 whole words... i'm a goddess.
i didn't even have fun procrastinating today. i literally sat and stared into space for two hours. literally writing the damned essay would have been more enjoyable.
man.
in non-essay-related news - yes, it is possible to write about such topics - i started thinking about what i am going to buy various family members for christmas, and concluded that because i have no money the answer is probably "bugger-all". ho ho ho!!
day 25
knocked out 1000 words worth of essay today (or near enough). which was good but ideally i would have done it yesterday. not much else happened sadly. i like poetry a lot but also it is evil!!!
actually i did come up with another powerful new own. basically you ask your friend and/or mortal enemy "yo can u remember the name of that big glass building in london. the kind of phallic one" and when they say "well obviously you are thinking of the gherkin" you respond "gherkin my dick lol". i have had great success (borat ref) with this so far! (dm for an explanation of the joke)
knocked out 1000 words worth of essay today (or near enough). which was good but ideally i would have done it yesterday. not much else happened sadly. i like poetry a lot but also it is evil!!!
actually i did come up with another powerful new own. basically you ask your friend and/or mortal enemy "yo can u remember the name of that big glass building in london. the kind of phallic one" and when they say "well obviously you are thinking of the gherkin" you respond "gherkin my dick lol". i have had great success (borat ref) with this so far! (dm for an explanation of the joke)
day 26
got some work done on essay plan #2 (well, #4 technically) (well, lifetime-wise it's much more than that) (well, third statement in brackets). all going to plan, this one will be done by monday. and if it isn't i may start to panic a little. maybe i should be panicking now? idk.
trying my hardest to resist making a self-conscious comment about how all of my blog entries are about essays now. anyone still reading this shit knows what they're in for by now. also it's not like i've got anything else going on. [sad lol].
had some beer-battered chips for tea. think that's a bit of a daft concept bc you're meant to beer-batter the fish not the chips. at any rate, they weren't really beer-battered at all - just kind of had a few breadcrumbs or something on them. v odd.
also i finished watching the bkc vid that has taken me the last few days. it was very enjoyable. link here. as i fetched that link, i saw that he's uploaded a second episode. great. that's my entertainment sorted for the next week! [tone indicator: entirely affectionate. bkc's great]
it's all glitz & glam in this blog, innit? makes you nostalgic for the taskmasterposting...
got some work done on essay plan #2 (well, #4 technically) (well, lifetime-wise it's much more than that) (well, third statement in brackets). all going to plan, this one will be done by monday. and if it isn't i may start to panic a little. maybe i should be panicking now? idk.
trying my hardest to resist making a self-conscious comment about how all of my blog entries are about essays now. anyone still reading this shit knows what they're in for by now. also it's not like i've got anything else going on. [sad lol].
had some beer-battered chips for tea. think that's a bit of a daft concept bc you're meant to beer-batter the fish not the chips. at any rate, they weren't really beer-battered at all - just kind of had a few breadcrumbs or something on them. v odd.
also i finished watching the bkc vid that has taken me the last few days. it was very enjoyable. link here. as i fetched that link, i saw that he's uploaded a second episode. great. that's my entertainment sorted for the next week! [tone indicator: entirely affectionate. bkc's great]
it's all glitz & glam in this blog, innit? makes you nostalgic for the taskmasterposting...
day 27
kind of danced around the task at hand. procrastination methods included going shopping, eating too many pringles (flavour choice available on request), and even - God forbid - socialising with some visiting relatives. going to try and knock this essay out tomorrow, but that may be difficult since the tyrants at uoe still want me to attend lectures et cetera for one more week. alas! although i can't really complain too much - it's the hitchcock lecture & they're the best of the bunch. what ever. that's about tomorrow so pretend i didn't write about it in today's entry.
found myself pondering - as i often do - how and when i am going to let my parents know that i am a Girl, Actually. don't really care as long as it is funny or trollish in some capacity.
i have the song "don't stop believing" by the band "journey" stuck in my head. not quite sure why. it does go immeasurably hard, though!
started having fakemon ideas which were cool to entertain for a bit ig. i don't rly have the persistence to do anything w them though. any pocketmonster artists who wish to pay me for the privilege of drawing the funny lil guys inside my head -- get in touch!
kind of danced around the task at hand. procrastination methods included going shopping, eating too many pringles (flavour choice available on request), and even - God forbid - socialising with some visiting relatives. going to try and knock this essay out tomorrow, but that may be difficult since the tyrants at uoe still want me to attend lectures et cetera for one more week. alas! although i can't really complain too much - it's the hitchcock lecture & they're the best of the bunch. what ever. that's about tomorrow so pretend i didn't write about it in today's entry.
found myself pondering - as i often do - how and when i am going to let my parents know that i am a Girl, Actually. don't really care as long as it is funny or trollish in some capacity.
i have the song "don't stop believing" by the band "journey" stuck in my head. not quite sure why. it does go immeasurably hard, though!
started having fakemon ideas which were cool to entertain for a bit ig. i don't rly have the persistence to do anything w them though. any pocketmonster artists who wish to pay me for the privilege of drawing the funny lil guys inside my head -- get in touch!
1. What is your favorite flavor of pringles?(I like the normal ones but they have to be the wavy kind)
2. I actually did dance while doing a task! I listened to some good music while cleaning my ever messy closet (for those wondering, “I can’t decide” by the scissor sisters, give them a listen!)
3. Start playing a Pokémon game in front of them and when it gives you the gender option hover over girl and keep winking at your parents until they figure it out (also gamefreak should put a other option for gender)
4. I can kind of draw (I charge in the form of likes, of which you must like at least 5 of my posts) (I had a fakemon idea while walking my dogs, Condogtor the conductor pokemon! I just wanted a really dripped out dog with a monocle)
5. have a nice day (do your essays!!! I can’t deny I do enjoy a little bit of procrastination so I can’t really talk, listen to music that always help me have fun while doing mundane tasks)
2. I actually did dance while doing a task! I listened to some good music while cleaning my ever messy closet (for those wondering, “I can’t decide” by the scissor sisters, give them a listen!)
3. Start playing a Pokémon game in front of them and when it gives you the gender option hover over girl and keep winking at your parents until they figure it out (also gamefreak should put a other option for gender)
4. I can kind of draw (I charge in the form of likes, of which you must like at least 5 of my posts) (I had a fakemon idea while walking my dogs, Condogtor the conductor pokemon! I just wanted a really dripped out dog with a monocle)
5. have a nice day (do your essays!!! I can’t deny I do enjoy a little bit of procrastination so I can’t really talk, listen to music that always help me have fun while doing mundane tasks)
day 28
hi everyone,
you were probably expecting a typical BIG ASHLEY journal entry here
sadly, she is unavailable today
fortunately for you, i was available to take her place (no i will not watch Taskmaster ad infinitum)
consider the pros of this:
do with that what you will,
xo
hi everyone,
you were probably expecting a typical BIG ASHLEY journal entry here
sadly, she is unavailable today
fortunately for you, i was available to take her place (no i will not watch Taskmaster ad infinitum)
consider the pros of this:
- i’m exceedingly less british than her
- i’m exceedingly less british than her
do with that what you will,
xo
Unsubscribe
the REAL day 28
today i assassinated dave and took their place at the head of the social forums table. i thought it seemed like a fair and even response for trying to usurp my sphere of influence. from now on i am to be addressed as "supreme smogon overlord BIG ASHLEY, o hear her name and tremble". so, uh. get practising that.
the most interesting thing that happened today was that i saw a child wearing a suit jacket, bow tie, and mortarboard in george square. teachers really are getting younger, eh? eh?
think that's the first actual joke i've put in this. shame it wasn't very good.
had a bit of a comedy moment when i went to sit in george square gardens (library was full of students - the bastards!) to read a medieval poem like the sesh legend i am. sat on a bench i have used before, only to discover that since my last visit a fortnight ago it has got woodworm or been kicked in by some youths or something. i didn't quite fall through (that would have been a little bit too slapstick, i fear), but it was very clearly not structurally sound so i scurried off to a different bench.
following this, i just kind of wandered around town for a bit. usually it's at least vaguely enjoyable to plug into some tunes or a podcast and pound the mean streets of edin, but there was just no joy in it today - perhaps because the weight of the deadlines barrelling towards me was weighing down a bit (i've so nearly got through this without saying the e-word... can it be done?). it's not my fault i couldn't do any work, though. blame the fuds in the library...
i wonder if the english department staff will accept that excuse...?
today i assassinated dave and took their place at the head of the social forums table. i thought it seemed like a fair and even response for trying to usurp my sphere of influence. from now on i am to be addressed as "supreme smogon overlord BIG ASHLEY, o hear her name and tremble". so, uh. get practising that.
the most interesting thing that happened today was that i saw a child wearing a suit jacket, bow tie, and mortarboard in george square. teachers really are getting younger, eh? eh?
think that's the first actual joke i've put in this. shame it wasn't very good.
had a bit of a comedy moment when i went to sit in george square gardens (library was full of students - the bastards!) to read a medieval poem like the sesh legend i am. sat on a bench i have used before, only to discover that since my last visit a fortnight ago it has got woodworm or been kicked in by some youths or something. i didn't quite fall through (that would have been a little bit too slapstick, i fear), but it was very clearly not structurally sound so i scurried off to a different bench.
following this, i just kind of wandered around town for a bit. usually it's at least vaguely enjoyable to plug into some tunes or a podcast and pound the mean streets of edin, but there was just no joy in it today - perhaps because the weight of the deadlines barrelling towards me was weighing down a bit (i've so nearly got through this without saying the e-word... can it be done?). it's not my fault i couldn't do any work, though. blame the fuds in the library...
i wonder if the english department staff will accept that excuse...?
day 29
spent the morning adding bits to my essay plan. as i write this, i am >1/3 of the way thru the essay itself and the plan is still evolving. shambolic. i will not be going to bed until i have finished the essay. i have been feeling sleepy since about 8pm. pray for me...
watched the new trailer for the mario film. looks like p standard illumination fare tbh. chris pratt did a serviceable "wa-hoo!" but i still think he should be put down like a dog. found it extremely funny when ian nintendo said "ok. crossing live to seth rogen-san". kind of surreal. this film's casting will probably be the best* thing about it.
uhhhhhhhhhh what else did i do. nothing much really. had my last hitchcock tutorial which is sad as it means that i will presumably never see either of the extremely hot people from it ever again. they haven't appeared in this blog yet but they have been recurring characters in my life. anyway i had to talk about films n stuff. sometimes i think, given enough time, i could become a film buff. at other times i simply accept that it is too late for me to morph into any such ecological niche. i am too old, too fixed, too set in my ways. i shall simply remain a Poster and a weird little freak for life. and that's ok.
some slight changes would be nice, though. wouldn't mind a killer rack, fex. can anyone hook me up?
spent the morning adding bits to my essay plan. as i write this, i am >1/3 of the way thru the essay itself and the plan is still evolving. shambolic. i will not be going to bed until i have finished the essay. i have been feeling sleepy since about 8pm. pray for me...
watched the new trailer for the mario film. looks like p standard illumination fare tbh. chris pratt did a serviceable "wa-hoo!" but i still think he should be put down like a dog. found it extremely funny when ian nintendo said "ok. crossing live to seth rogen-san". kind of surreal. this film's casting will probably be the best* thing about it.
uhhhhhhhhhh what else did i do. nothing much really. had my last hitchcock tutorial which is sad as it means that i will presumably never see either of the extremely hot people from it ever again. they haven't appeared in this blog yet but they have been recurring characters in my life. anyway i had to talk about films n stuff. sometimes i think, given enough time, i could become a film buff. at other times i simply accept that it is too late for me to morph into any such ecological niche. i am too old, too fixed, too set in my ways. i shall simply remain a Poster and a weird little freak for life. and that's ok.
some slight changes would be nice, though. wouldn't mind a killer rack, fex. can anyone hook me up?
addendum to entry: "day 29"
i'm v sleepy at time of writing (bodes well for this essay eh) so that's why this entry is the way that it is. hash tag sorry not sorry
i'm v sleepy at time of writing (bodes well for this essay eh) so that's why this entry is the way that it is. hash tag sorry not sorry
response to fanmail
this is a very difficult question. the other day i had (most of) a tube of sour cream & onion & (most of) a tube of barbecue - it's probably one of those two, i reckon. original are ofc also good & i usually enjoy paprika a lot but sometimes go off them a bit. hope this helps!
i am so sorry
day 30
the last day of npn. how can it have come so quickly? and yet, so slowly...
i received a request - from a user i shall not name and shame, although i will give the slight hint that his name is "faint" - to make a specific post in my blog. it was about the end of npn and the return of posting to the forum. i just want to take this opportunity to reaffirm my sheer commitment to free speech and anti-monetisation (well, he didn't offer to pay me, but even if he had i would've said no. probably) policies - i will never make a post in this thread for anyone other than myself.
anyway, today i did some essay pish. who cares really. sent off the two i have finished and started the next one. also procrastinated a bit. surprise surprise!
sadly, there will be no satisfying conclusion to the essay arc - this blog is coming to an end. i would do a retrospective of the experience of writing it, but that would cover the whole month and this entry is just for today. so there.
oh oh also spotify wrapped dropped. so that was quite interesting. my 100 top songs playlist is good for quite possibly the first time ever. huzzah!
and so ends the npn blog. thanks for reading or whatever. did you enjoy it? idc (she lied, craving validation and praise). shout out to my most loyal supporters. you know who you are. now, if you'll excuse me, i have middle-aged comedians to fantasise about...
the last day of npn. how can it have come so quickly? and yet, so slowly...
i received a request - from a user i shall not name and shame, although i will give the slight hint that his name is "faint" - to make a specific post in my blog. it was about the end of npn and the return of posting to the forum. i just want to take this opportunity to reaffirm my sheer commitment to free speech and anti-monetisation (well, he didn't offer to pay me, but even if he had i would've said no. probably) policies - i will never make a post in this thread for anyone other than myself.
anyway, today i did some essay pish. who cares really. sent off the two i have finished and started the next one. also procrastinated a bit. surprise surprise!
sadly, there will be no satisfying conclusion to the essay arc - this blog is coming to an end. i would do a retrospective of the experience of writing it, but that would cover the whole month and this entry is just for today. so there.
oh oh also spotify wrapped dropped. so that was quite interesting. my 100 top songs playlist is good for quite possibly the first time ever. huzzah!
and so ends the npn blog. thanks for reading or whatever. did you enjoy it? idc (she lied, craving validation and praise). shout out to my most loyal supporters. you know who you are. now, if you'll excuse me, i have middle-aged comedians to fantasise about...
mods u can lock this once the torrent of praise etc. runs out. ta. love to the fans mwah
guess