Social Neurodiversity

[bdt2002]

I find it interesting that I seem to have the opposite problem with open-world games: I know what I'm looking for so well that I'll ignore everything else, main quest included, to do the one thing I set my mind to. Then later, my desire to complete things is in conflict with a lack of interest in revisiting locations I only remember as means to get from A to B, and I have a long chore to get my money's worth without the motivation of working towards a desired reward. It's why I prefer Metroidvaina as an exploration-based format: going through and examining other areas is a legitimate means to get through that one specific door.

I kind of have this “issue” too, assuming this is even a bad thing, except I can often feel overwhelmed by having to make a choice of which task I want to make my primary focus. I tend to agree with the silent group that thinks not every game in the modern age has to be some open-world fiasco, and while I also don’t want games to have to hold my hand, it does help me enjoy the finished product more if the game is at least recommending a certain path for me to follow based on my own choices as a player. I know this isn’t exactly a Pokémon-related forum like most on this site, but I’d actually like to cite Scarlet & Violet as an example of this. For newer players, making that choice of which storylines to do and in which order can be quite stressful, compared to what I believe to be the more organized nature of older installments.

 

[ControlCoreAngel]

HELLO NEURODIVERSITY THREAD i didnt know this existed!! another autistic funnyman for you! (its me!! im the autistic funnyman!)

im angel!! pokemon was one of my first major special interests. i am obsessed with eevee.
i do gimmick teams here on showdown for fun!
my favorite metas are shared power and mayhem randbtas (oops sp base), but i also like normal randbats, doubles ou, pokeabilities, metronome battle, cap, and multibility! tldr if its gimmick i will gimmick it MORE

 

[bdt2002]

HELLO NEURODIVERSITY THREAD i didnt know this existed!! another autistic funnyman for you! (its me!! im the autistic funnyman!)

im angel!! pokemon was one of my first major special interests. i am obsessed with eevee.
i do gimmick teams here on showdown for fun!
my favorite metas are shared power and mayhem randbtas (oops sp base), but i also like normal randbats, doubles ou, pokeabilities, metronome battle, cap, and multibility! tldr if its gimmick i will gimmick it MORE

I think I see where a person like you is coming from. Before anyone else reacts to this post in... a number of other possible ways, I want to try and explain something. When I first joined Smogon, I had hoped to use my time here in a similar way to what you seem to be interested in- the social aspect. I'm going to assume you're new here just based on how you're talking, and in that case, welcome, and here's some tips of advice going forward.

While I personally am not opposed to people wanting to introduce themselves, the matter of how new users do so also matters. "Congregation of the Masses" isn't usually a place where people talk about Pokémon-related topics, especially when other forums exist here on Smogon where people talk more seriously about some of the topics you mentioned. I don't want to see a new user be unfairly punished without a warning for making a post like this, I do want you to be able to understand what's available to users in regards to social interaction.

This thread in particular is largely geared towards discussion regarding people's experiences with neurodiversity and other important concerns in the field. Again, since I'd like to avoid newer users getting in trouble, I want to recommend posts in this thread not going too off topic, all right? Once again, welcome to Smogon, and feel free to explore what's available prior to writing posts like this. Take care :)

 

[NaboGaming]

HELLO NEURODIVERSITY THREAD i didnt know this existed!! another autistic funnyman for you! (its me!! im the autistic funnyman!)

im angel!! pokemon was one of my first major special interests. i am obsessed with eevee.
i do gimmick teams here on showdown for fun!
my favorite metas are shared power and mayhem randbtas (oops sp base), but i also like normal randbats, doubles ou, pokeabilities, metronome battle, cap, and multibility! tldr if its gimmick i will gimmick it MORE

look at my pfp :3

 

[Golden Duke]

Hi there! I am on the autistic spectrum and my special interest is Pokémon (in particular their base stats.) One of the main reasons I joined this forum was to talk to people who share a common interest (especially because I have next to no one to talk to irl and online.) I experience this strange phenomenon in my head which I think is synesthesia. Like I can almost feel the texture of the Pokémon’s properties for example. I think I can also see sound and kind of feel others pain. Can anyone else relate to this? I’ve made a short video where I go into a bit of detail about it (how my mind processes information) (Michael kemp) I apologise if this goes against the rules by plugging myself I just think that’s the easiest way to explain it. I would love to become a lper/twitcher someday where I can explain this amazing phenomenon to others :)

 

[bdt2002]

Hi there! I am on the autistic spectrum and my special interest is Pokémon (in particular their base stats.) One of the main reasons I joined this forum was to talk to people who share a common interest (especially because I have next to no one to talk to irl and online.) I experience this strange phenomenon in my head which I think is synesthesia. Like I can almost feel the texture of the Pokémon’s properties for example. I think I can also see sound and kind of feel others pain. Can anyone else relate to this? I’ve made a short video where I go into a bit of detail about it (how my mind processes information) (Michael kemp) I apologise if this goes against the rules by plugging myself I just think that’s the easiest way to explain it. I would love to become a lper/twitcher someday where I can explain this amazing phenomenon to others :)

I've only just now started (like, just now) posting again, so I do apologize that I haven't gotten back with you or anyone else since... looks again December 2nd!? Yikes.

Gonna try and keep my responses short and sweet if you don't mind. As far as introducing yourself, while it's not said word for word that users should avoid "plugging messages" as I like to call them, in most areas of the Forums it seems generally agreed upon that it's probably just safer to try and ask someone for permission before doing so. I personally don't have anything against it, but I also wouldn't call myself a high-level Forums head by any means.

As for your other question, I can't relate to your specific example of synethesia, but I do understand what it's like to want to meet other neurodivergents with the same and/or similar interests as oneself. That's actually why I started posting primarily here instead of in forums such as "Orange Islands" like I used to. Nothing against the guys over there, of course. Great group of people I highly recommend talking to if you want to meet more casual Pokémon fans. I just find these threads suit my interests better these days. If or when you decide to post video content about your situation, I would definitely be interested in taking a look at it later on.

Welcome, and once more I do apologize for how long it's been since I've posted here.

 

[bdt2002]

I apologize for double posting, but I figured it’s been long enough since anyone else has posted here (which is completely fine, for the record). Just wanted to talk about something interesting that happened during chapel today involving neurosensitivity.

For context: I go to a Christian school, and we have these church-like services we attend a few times a week. It’s been brought to my attention already that some of us neurodivergents might have a harder time with the idea of a faith-based religious belief, but that’s not exactly a rabbit hole I think we should go down. What caught my interest instead was our school’s new stage lighting.

Prior to the beginning of our new semester of classes, our school got these new stage lights that I haven’t seen until earlier this morning since I had skipped out on going to chapel this past Thursday for unrelated reasons involving the weather. Case in point, today’s service was the first time I had seen them, and I couldn’t fully walk into the auditorium without being taken aback by just how bright it was up there. Any sensory issues I have or had thankfully aren’t as severe as some other neurodivergent people I know, but that level of brightness was simply unhealthy.

There’s a bit more to the story than just this, but for now I just wanted to get some of your opinions on this. I’m interested to see if this is just a me thing or if potential sensory overload gets in the way of anyone else enjoying a public service, too.

 

[NaboGaming]

I apologize for double posting, but I figured it’s been long enough since anyone else has posted here (which is completely fine, for the record). Just wanted to talk about something interesting that happened during chapel today involving neurosensitivity.

For context: I go to a Christian school, and we have these church-like services we attend a few times a week. It’s been brought to my attention already that some of us neurodivergents might have a harder time with the idea of a faith-based religious belief, but that’s not exactly a rabbit hole I think we should go down. What caught my interest instead was our school’s new stage lighting.

Prior to the beginning of our new semester of classes, our school got these new stage lights that I haven’t seen until earlier this morning since I had skipped out on going to chapel this past Thursday for unrelated reasons involving the weather. Case in point, today’s service was the first time I had seen them, and I couldn’t fully walk into the auditorium without being taken aback by just how bright it was up there. Any sensory issues I have or had thankfully aren’t as severe as some other neurodivergent people I know, but that level of brightness was simply unhealthy.

There’s a bit more to the story than just this, but for now I just wanted to get some of your opinions on this. I’m interested to see if this is just a me thing or if potential sensory overload gets in the way of anyone else enjoying a public service, too.

i can't go to concerts of my fave bands because it's too loud and overstimulating

 

[STEELDRAGON]

The shrinks said I narcissistic personality disorder but I don't view it a actual disorder, it's a strength. Putting yourself is huge and many people care more about other people more than themselves and get screwed because of it. I still think it's important to take care of the ones you love but not every one. Many people choose to have the victim mindset and don't take complete responsibility for their life and I have zero sympathy for them.

 

[Morkal]

The shrinks said I narcissistic personality disorder but I don't view it a actual disorder, it's a strength. Putting yourself is huge and many people care more about other people more than themselves and get screwed because of it. I still think it's important to take care of the ones you love but not every one. Many people choose to have the victim mindset and don't take complete responsibility for their life and I have zero sympathy for them.

Except NPD is a disorder; there's a very distinct difference between being a narcissist and being self-assured. People don't "choose" to be victims, everyone has different brain chemistry and acquired mental processes from their environment and copes with trials and tribulations differently. What is difficult for someone else may be easy for you, and what is difficult for you may be easy for someone else. The question I'd like to ask you is - why do you feel your sympathy matters to other people to a point where you feel like you have to talk down to people who don't cope the same way you do?

 

[Fishy]

Many people choose to have the victim mindset and don't take complete responsibility for their life and I have zero sympathy for them.

so you're likely ~30 years old and you still don't have a sense of empathy? this is not a strength, and boasting that it is is embarrassing. i'd listen to your "shrink" or maybe stop wasting your money and their time.

 

[STEELDRAGON]

Except NPD is a disorder; there's a very distinct difference between being a narcissist and being self-assured. People don't "choose" to be victims, everyone has different brain chemistry and acquired mental processes from their environment and copes with trials and tribulations differently. What is difficult for someone else may be easy for you, and what is difficult for you may be easy for someone else. The question I'd like to ask you is - why do you feel your sympathy matters to other people to a point where you feel like you have to talk down to people who don't cope the same way you do?

I have found many people do have a victim mindset. They make up excuses trying to rationalize why it's somebody or something else's fault why they aren't where they want to be. Some common excuses are oh I am tired/sad/poor etc because of x. No it's not because of x, it because you don't want it bad enough. The most difficult times in a person's life helps build character, are you going to sink or swim?I don't talk down on people who don't cope the same way I do. If someone is happy/fulfilled with their life that's good for them, buts it the people who are crying/complaining about their life are mostly the people I an referring to. It's does get to a point where others people's behavior does affect generally society.

 

[Morkal]

I have found many people do have a victim mindset. They make up excuses trying to rationalize why it's somebody or something else's fault why they aren't where they want to be. Some common excuses are oh I am tired/sad/poor etc because of x. No it's not because of x, it because you don't want it bad enough. The most difficult times in a person's life helps build character, are you going to sink or swim?I don't talk down on people who don't cope the same way I do. If someone is happy/fulfilled with their life that's good for them, buts it the people who are crying/complaining about their life are mostly the people I an referring to. It's does get to a point where others people's behavior does affect generally society.

I bolded these two sentences of yours because I want to illustrate a fallacy here. You say you don't talk down to people who don't cope the same way you do, but you just stated in the other bolded sentence that people's problems are because they "don't want it bad enough," which is taking your method of coping (self-reliance) and projecting it onto others in a condescending manner. This is what narcissism is. I'm not trying to say this to belittle you or put you on the spot; I would like to share a little bit about my past, just in case you're going through what I think you might be going through. I developed narcissistic qualities because of the physical and emotional abuse I suffered when I was younger. Narcissism became a protective shell that I used to put myself on an internal pedestal because I felt alone. Slowly though, people approached me, and I grew to have wonderful friends and even reconnected with parts of my family.

Through their help, I was able to stand on my own two feet and conquer my ego. Now I'm moving forward, and my quality of life is drastically better as a result. I don't know what your story nor do I want to pretend to know, but I would like to tell you that this line of thinking you're following only leads to a type of painful loneliness that I don't want to see anyone else go through. Not everything has to be a struggle; it's okay to be vulnerable, and I hope that by talking a little bit about what I went through, you can see that there are different kinds of strength beyond physicality and resolve. I'm definitely not the strongest in that regard, I stumble and fall sometimes, but I'm far ahead of the destructive cycle I once was in, and I'm proud of myself for that. If you'd like to talk about anything, my inbox is always open.

 

[NaboGaming]

he's an andrew tate stan what else is there to expect

 

[Morkal]

so you're likely ~30 years old and you still don't have a sense of empathy? this is not a strength, and boasting that it is is embarrassing. i'd listen to your "shrink" or maybe stop wasting your money and their time.

he's an andrew tate stan what else is there to expect

I know you both mean well, but replies like this are what turn many vulnerable people toward Andrew Tate and that whole mindset pipeline in the first place. Andrew Tate's "tough provider man" marketing capitalizes on and intentionally targets isolated or frustrated men and boys who feel lonely/ostracized/hated/etc., which is why dismissal/outright anger/humiliation/etc. doesn't work in situations like this. All it does is allow them to internally justify Andrew Tate's words, and that's how people slowly become radicalized. Sometimes people need to be shown empathy themselves to understand it, which is why I was gentle in my replies, and that's also likely why he replied directly to my first comment while ignoring other replies.

Approaching from a state of compassion rather than dismissal or anger will do far more to get someone to listen and could possibly bring them out of the grip of that pipeline.

 

[Fishy]

I know you both mean well, but replies like this are what turn many vulnerable people toward Andrew Tate and that whole mindset pipeline in the first place. Andrew Tate's "tough provider man" marketing capitalizes on and intentionally targets isolated or frustrated men and boys who feel lonely/ostracized/hated/etc., which is why dismissal/outright anger/humiliation/etc. doesn't work in situations like this. All it does is allow them to internally justify Andrew Tate's words, and that's how people slowly become radicalized. Sometimes people need to be shown empathy themselves to understand it, which is why I was gentle in my replies, and that's also likely why he replied directly to my first comment while ignoring other replies.

Approaching from a state of compassion rather than dismissal or anger will do far more to get someone to listen and could possibly bring them out of the grip of that pipeline.

i appreciate your patience, empathy, and compassion in your response. i am not going to attempt to fix STEEL DRAGON, so i didn't respond like you did. i'm glad there are people like you who can empathize especially well since you have relatable experiences -- other people have instead suffered at the hands of narcissists, so you'll have to forgive my flippant response. what i don't need is condescension that my actions aren't going to help someone like STEEL DRAGON, because you're mistaken thinking that i'm attempting to do that in the first place.

in fact, some people have suffered so much in their life but they STILL don't "succumb" to some urge to return all the suffering they've felt to others around them. this is not a normal coping mechanism, even if it IS common. this is another reason why i, PERSONALLY, am not going to infantilize someone and speak to them/about them with kid gloves in an attempt to fix their daily choice to be an asshole to others, because i have suffered in life and somehow don't make it everyone else's problem, and it didn't take the random kindness of forum posters to get me here.

 

[Morkal]

i appreciate your patience, empathy, and compassion in your response. i am not going to attempt to fix STEEL DRAGON, so i didn't respond like you did. i'm glad there are people like you who can empathize especially well since you have relatable experiences -- other people have instead suffered at the hands of narcissists, so you'll have to forgive my flippant response. what i don't need is condescension that my actions aren't going to help someone like STEEL DRAGON, because you're mistaken thinking that i'm attempting to do that in the first place.

in fact, some people have suffered so much in their life but they STILL don't "succumb" to some urge to return all the suffering they've felt to others around them. this is not a normal coping mechanism, even if it IS common. this is another reason why i, PERSONALLY, am not going to infantilize someone and speak to them/about them with kid gloves in an attempt to fix their daily choice to be an asshole to others, because i have suffered in life and somehow don't make it everyone else's problem, and it didn't take the random kindness of forum posters to get me here.

Trust me; I understand, and I'm not trying to say you're doing anything wrong by pointing out someone making heinous statements, nor was I trying to condescend; if it came across that way, I apologize. I suffered as well, and that's why I try to talk to others (even those who act like assholes) in a compassionate manner - because, frankly, the memories of having piss thrown on me, being shoved into lockers, being assaulted in ways I'm not comfortable talking about (primarily from a narcissist as well), and more, it all adds up to where I want to defuse things as much as I can, rather than adding fuel to a fire that can't be controlled. When I said that I was attempting to bring him out of the pipeline, I meant I was trying to show him a different perspective so that he could think about it and come to his own conclusions and make his own choices about his life. It sounds like we've both been through lifelong pain, but I do want to clarify that I'm not trying to fix him, nor am I trying to babysit him, either. I'm trying to do what my grandfather would always do - try to bring out the kindness in everyone around him by being as kind to everyone around him as he could be.

 

[Fishy]

Trust me; I understand, and I'm not trying to say you're doing anything wrong by pointing out someone making heinous statements, nor was I trying to condescend; if it came across that way, I apologize. I suffered as well, and that's why I try to talk to others (even those who act like assholes) in a compassionate manner - because, frankly, the memories of having piss thrown on me, being shoved into lockers, being assaulted in ways I'm not comfortable talking about (primarily from a narcissist as well), and more, it all adds up to where I want to defuse things as much as I can, rather than adding fuel to a fire that can't be controlled. When I said that I was attempting to bring him out of the pipeline, I meant I was trying to show him a different perspective so that he could think about it and come to his own conclusions and make his own choices about his life. It sounds like we've both been through lifelong pain, but I do want to clarify that I'm not trying to fix him, nor am I trying to babysit him, either. I'm trying to do what my grandfather would always do - try to bring out the kindness in everyone around him by being as kind to everyone around him as he could be.

thank you for this response!

i can further empathize with the desire to defuse—they say people who have suffered either think everyone else deserves to suffer as they did, or that they don't wish a single moment of suffering on anyone ever. finding a balance and erring on the side of kindness might be another description of the moral compass and everyone's journey to be their best selves—so i apologize for sounding brash at all when i was most irked by feeling like i was being scolded for sharing my particular response, based on my particular experiences~

 

[Morkal]

thank you for this response!

i can further empathize with the desire to defuse—they say people who have suffered either think everyone else deserves to suffer as they did, or that they don't wish a single moment of suffering on anyone ever. finding a balance and erring on the side of kindness might be another description of the moral compass and everyone's journey to be their best selves—so i apologize for sounding brash at all when i was most irked by feeling like i was being scolded for sharing my particular response, based on my particular experiences~

Thank you for responding as well, and it's no problem at all! Finding balance has been something vital to me, especially over the last five years; unfortunately, it gets way more complicated than expected at times when emotions and memories amalgamate. I wasn't trying to scold you at all, and I apologize again if it came off that way. (On a related note, it does make me a bit happier that we feel comfortable enough here to have conversations like this, not many communities, especially ones as big as Smogon, have that same feeling of being a comforting shelter on the internet)

 

[Fishy]

Thank you for responding as well, and it's no problem at all! Finding balance has been something vital to me, especially over the last five years; unfortunately, it gets way more complicated than expected at times when emotions and memories amalgamate. I wasn't trying to scold you at all, and I apologize again if it came off that way. (On a related note, it does make me a bit happier that we feel comfortable enough here to have conversations like this, not many communities, especially ones as big as Smogon, have that same feeling of being a comforting shelter on the internet)

emotional expression is always valid, and important, so i too agree it's best when people can mutually process thru emotions in a respectful way, even if the emotions can get heated. dont bottle anything up kids!!!!

 

[NaboGaming]

emotional expression is always valid, and important, so i too agree it's best when people can mutually process thru emotions in a respectful way, even if the emotions can get heated. dont bottle anything up kids!!!!

I've told you this on discord before, but fish, you are and always will be a master at resolving conflict!! <3 and yeah, to STEELDRAGON, i apologize for my emotions getting out of hand.

 

[Fishy]

I've told you this on discord before, but fish, you are and always will be a master at resolving conflict!! <3 and yeah, to STEELDRAGON, i apologize for my emotions getting out of hand.

i dunno about being a MASTER, but i find it's better to attack arguments, not people~

 

[NaboGaming]

i dunno about being a MASTER, but i find it's better to attack arguments, not people~

very true! :3

 

[SciWiz373]

Hi I think I'm about, 2 years too late to this thread but.

ADHD & Autistic Catgirl here with probably a million other undiagnosed issues lol

Mario & Luigi RPGs/Borderlands/Skylanders/Calamity Mod/Guilty Gear/Pokemon(duh), are special interests that have survived the test of time, and I'm pretty yoinked up (hyperfixated) on Fortnite, Pizza Tower, and Pokemon Reborn rn

I'm bad at socializing but I still enjoy doing so :)

 

[bdt2002]

Hi I think I'm about, 2 years too late to this thread but.

ADHD & Autistic Catgirl here with probably a million other undiagnosed issues lol

Mario & Luigi RPGs/Borderlands/Skylanders/Calamity Mod/Guilty Gear/Pokemon(duh), are special interests that have survived the test of time, and I'm pretty yoinked up (hyperfixated) on Fortnite, Pizza Tower, and Pokemon Reborn rn

I'm bad at socializing but I still enjoy doing so :)

It's never too late to introduce yourself to the community, at least in my opinion. I'd like to think we can all be friends here, right? On that note, welcome in.

Often times what I find helps me and a lot of other people become more social is to try and look for people with similar interests. The thing is, your search doesn't necessarily have to be limited to other neurodiverse people. It definitely can be depending on what kinds of social opportunities you're looking for (in my case, I enjoy it because I enjoy learning more about neurodevelopment, and because I've maade a lot of neurodivergent friends), but the most important tip to remember is to try and not rush things. Life will pass you by if you try and speed through the adventures ahead. After all, you never know when and where you may find your new best friend who might have more in common with you than just your special interests.